Jake @JakeCCoulter
I do stand-up because sit-up’s were too hard Joined April 2019-
Tweets3K
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Followers128
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Following315
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Likes3K
Y’all don’t know how excited I am to do my first hour!!! Come out if you can!! Won’t promise anything about the comedy but the drinks are always fire!!
I got a feeling imma somehow trick people into letting me become president just to get impeached within my first year for doing some ignorant shit like trying to solve societal issues with team building/bonding exercises like we’re at a summer camp 😅
That’s it I’m getting a hippo
That’s it I’m getting a hippo
No matter how many times I promise myself imma quit staying in toxic relationships I always wind up tricking myself with stupid shit like “those ain’t red flags those flags are more of a crimson color like her lips”
Fun fact elephants are the only species on the planet to go their whole life using only a bidet
Fun fact elephants are the only species on the planet to go their whole life using only a bidet
Happy 85th birthday to my best friend can’t believe it’s going to be 6 years since you’ve been gone but I know you’re in heaven raising hell! Love you grandma ❤️❤️
All I want in life is for the @twisted_twins to bring back Hellevator 😫 this was the best gameshow ever
Knowing I’ll never get to be on Punk’d or Silent Library really makes me sad
I’d like to make them all my friends but the alligator is gonna be the easiest to survive just throw some marshmallows to keep it distracted
I’d like to make them all my friends but the alligator is gonna be the easiest to survive just throw some marshmallows to keep it distracted
My vet said my dog needs to loose 4 lbs so I set our scale back 5lbs so she isn’t self conscious
Will someone please tell me how I can get my Great Dane to quit chest bumping me 😭
I am the type of person to do something like learn a new language to try impressing someone then get a head injury and forget English
I spent 3 hours yesterday and another hour today trying to organize this 4-way magazine rack and ITS STILL NOT RIGHT 😭 there’s 3 shelves on each side with 3 rows inside each shelf with 5 magazines in each row that only fits 4 magazines side by side my adhd hurts 😭😭
If Matt Rife is the only comedian you watch please give the ugly comedians a try too!! I’m just now starting out so pretty people can’t take over
I’ve been struggling with my words so bad lately I started saying English isn’t my first language so it’s less embarrassing 😭
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brian redban @redban
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Sunset Strip Comedy A.. @SunsetStripATX
1K Followers 46 Following Downtown ATX home for stand-up comedy, live music & events! Tickets in bio link. 214 E 6th St unit C, Austin TX 78701
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13K Followers 4K Following Tickets on sale now at https://t.co/NMOzzpVHbd - Come have a laugh, play some pinball and drink in the night at our outdoor bar!
Tom Segura AKA Mr. La.. @tomsegura
944K Followers 1K Following I have 4 specials on Netflix. podcast here: https://t.co/4uUwz2QOkf You can Merch up here: https://t.co/KaSVm44S8A
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2.3M Followers 1K Following Ladies and Gentlemen, My Name is Paul Heyman, and I am indeed The Wiseman! Advocate / SpecialCounsel IG: https://t.co/rnIJb9QbrQ
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1.1M Followers 5K Following I am the Machine #RazzleDazzle and #TheMACHINEmovie on Netflix NOW. @drinkporosos #MakeFriends. #TOPSOFFWORLDTOUR and #FULLYLOADEDFESTIVAL are on sale NOW
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2K Followers 5K Following Hopeless romantic. Red Tour 5/16/2013. 1989 Tour 10/17/15 Taylor liked on 11/3/17! rep Tour 9/29/18. Iann Dior liked and RT 12/20/19! Eras Tour 4/22/23
@iamyesyouareno Your skin naturally does that as your credit score goes up
My mother told me I look like a prostitute in my author photos. I am afraid to ask, but ... yes or no? No wonder I have so many issues as an adult. Guess it makes me a better writer though.
@growing_daniel @elonmusk Engagement farming is illegal Daniel. You can't just promise hardcore porn in your replies in hopes people click through. Be Better.
@bertkreischer Am I sitting in my car or at the table?
@jshhspn @bertkreischer Car would definitely be a let’s see if I can eat this on a 30 minute lunch break. Table would be an hour because only my husband would be judging me.
@AMAZlNGNATURE Did the seal hate the octopus or the person? Or the octopus all "Let me at him!!!"
thanks to everyone who came out to @creekandcave in Austin!!! This weekend im in Albany at the funny bone
I’m in Austin this weekend and my ticket sales could improve. Here’s my fat ass another time I was in Austin. See u this weekend at the creek
@pmcafrica Bro went from doggy to running away from the big dawg
@DiannaFWilliam1 @ThebestFigen Nah! I invented the name myself 😂
Bully Gets Beaten Up After Video Goes Viral Of Her Picking On a Another Student
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Izzy stopping to say “mmm” sent me 😂 this woman is live feed gold #bb25
having to beg someone to do something with you and then seeing them do it with others willingly is a different kind of hurt
Pictured below is Ella Harper. This photograph was taken around 1885 to 1886. Harper suffered from a highly uncommon medical condition called congenital genu recurvatum, which caused her knees to bend in the opposite direction. As a result, she found it more comfortable to move…
@cctvidiots I think grandma knows grandpa screwed up. Grandpa realizes that he successfully curbed being asked 10,000 questions per hour from his grandson.
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