🐀 @Guiness_Pig
Comedian & writer who brings you #MaskholeClapbacks because #CovidIsNotOver #CovidIsntOver *Satire/humor/entertainment* Guinesspig.ghost.io District 11, Dystopian Hell Joined May 2009-
Tweets6K
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Followers7K
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Following3K
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Likes21K
Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: We’re all supposed to mask to protect meerkats, why aren’t YOU masked Stranger: There are no meerkats here Me: Actually my emotional support meerkat is asleep in my jacket right now, please put on a mask or step away from us
Nextflix movie watch party today at 3 pm EST. All are welcome to join. This month’s pick is Bird Box. More deets below.
Nextflix movie watch party today at 3 pm EST. All are welcome to join. This month’s pick is Bird Box. More deets below.
Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: I’m promoting a dating app, Maskr Stranger: Dating apps suck, everyone on them is awful Me: People on Maskr are kind, intelligent, resilient, & resourceful Stranger: Sounds great but I won’t wear a mask Me: Then try our other app, Superspreadr
You are cordially invited to join me as I scream into the void. Let it all out in the comments. Don’t hold back. GIFs only.
“Hospitals with the highest levels of surges of severe COVID-19 patients saw the greatest increases in hospital-acquired antimicrobial resistant infections, with incidence increasing in a stepwise fashion.” Shall I call Scooby to solve this big mystery? beckershospitalreview.com/infection-cont…
Stranger: Woof woof, why you wearing a muzzle Me: It’s not a muzzle it’s a respirator Stranger: Looks like a muzzle, you think you’re a dog Me: You were the one woofing so you’re projecting, if this is a dominance thing, we can take it outside & hump it out Stranger: Fuck you
❤️❤️❤️
Bird Box is the story of a parent saving their kids from a pandemic-like catastrophe. Many parallels to the ongoing Covid pandemic. Masks=blindfolds. Overwhelming pressure to surrender. The neurodivergent & disabled are the heroes. Watch w/me this weekend. guinesspig.ghost.io/movie-watch-pa…
Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: Not today, Satan, not today Stranger: Why you saying that, are you religious Me: No Stranger: ‘Cause if you’re a preacher or something… I don’t mean any disrespect Me: Alrighty, thanks Satan
🫠🫠🫠
T. Ryan Gregory @TRyanGregory
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2K Followers 4K Following Hi, it’s me. I’m the evil twin, you see…Titi Med. Spartan. Bluejay. Coug by proxy. Owned by 2 cats. Critical care RN. Sweary. Views are my own.@Guiness_Pig Nah, it's not your fault. It's true anyway. Hahaha. I just wish it was a dream but unfortunately, it's our reality. We do what we must.
@Guiness_Pig I want to bash the pig officials head in with a brick. Lol. But good stuff. A retelling of my fav fairy tale.
So I just finished reading this and it only reminded me of my rage. Because how could we let this happen? How could we do this? And yet, we have. I'm so mad.
@caemensakuraaa I wrote a Covid edition of The Three Little Pigs. Spoiler: The pigs are fine. It’s the humans we have to worry about. guinesspig.ghost.io/storytime-with…
@Guiness_Pig @MeetJess Do you have a Costco? They should order it if you ask and you don't have to be a member.
Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: We’re all supposed to mask to protect meerkats, why aren’t YOU masked Stranger: There are no meerkats here Me: Actually my emotional support meerkat is asleep in my jacket right now, please put on a mask or step away from us
@Guiness_Pig Totes. This is the inevitable result of "privatise everything and burn it down". May their junk rot and fall off - pieces at a time...
@Guiness_Pig Love this! I'd also love an emotional support meerkat.
@Guiness_Pig i have seen it! given some sad news from a friend, my mind definitely needs something more light hearted tonight!
Hit the grocery store today. $5 for adults, $1 for kids. For less than $20 we got to meet some fellow maskers & make their day. We all encouraged each other to keep going. Unmasked folks were intrigued to see cash handed out to people just for masking. Worth it.😷#ItPaysToMask
So, it's official. In about two weeks, I won't be a professor anymore. It feels weird. Not bad. Just weird. I'm a Tenured College Professor. I'm Quitting. Here's Why. okdoomer.io/im-a-professor…
I’ve been playing with meerkat sticker designs 😃 Was thinking of offering both free access to them in a google doc & convenient ease of access via Redbubble (all $ to go to funding more PH billboards by @pandemicresist) Note: I’m no graphic designer, strictly amateur WDYT?
@Guiness_Pig hope you all had fun! day didn't go quite as planned and chores started late so missed it
@Guiness_Pig @oldfshndanne At least you are attempting something!
@Guiness_Pig Wow - amazing idea! That is awesome! And it is something anyone can do, although I imagine you want to have a group of people together doing this.
@Guiness_Pig That's such a sweet idea! 😷♥️
@Guiness_Pig Careful. You are gonna go broke at this rate. Joke!!!
@Guiness_Pig That's what I wanted to hear. A pay-it-forward wave of appreciation.