Senile Dennis Miller @DM_rant
I don't mean to get off on a rant her put if Vladimir Putin's my underwear then I don't wanna be applesauce, ok chief?! Fox Joined June 2013-
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I don’t mean to offend anyones tree-hugger liberal koombaya sensibilities but everything tastes like copper and it’s 1987, okay-babe?
I believe it was the Duke of Castleberry, in reaction to a Peloponnesian treaties on long term ground campaigns, who remarked “Hey Mertaw, I got the Sids real bad, come and give me a squeegee!”
I don’t think I’m mincing words when I say Trump’s 2024 campaign is gonna make Babe look like Babe 2: Pig in The City, okay babe?
It’s Time To Put the Christ Back in Toyotathon l8r.it/4DpQ
Every one of these mask wearers remind me of Popeye Doyle trying to tell the bubble mint twins the plot to star wars. “Hey slap dick, read the fuckin room okay?”
We made a fucking book. “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years” is now available for pre-order. You can learn more about this definitive history of punk and hardcore AND win merch by visiting thehardtimes.net/book
Admit it, the only reason you watch NFL in the first place is because every now and then there's a car crash.
It's 2018 and it is completely tasteless for Michelle to insult the appearance of Sarah Sanders, or of ANY man for that matter!
Shame on you @michelleisawolf for insulting @PressSec on their looks. Sarah Sanders is a beautiful man!
Michelle Wolfe wrote Bonfire of the Vanities and I forget what we're mad at but fuck you asshole!
You ask me it's pretty tasteless to be telling any jokes at a white house correspondents memorial diner given the sacrifice they made for our country but that's just one man's opinion
Sorry for the delay folks I had to really buckle down and do my research. Michelle Wolf's hair is so curly I wanna fry it up and eat it with a burger and a nice big glass of ketchup!
Michelle Wolf Blitzer is the host of The Situation room but you know what I think is a messed up situation? Making jokes about our president! How's that for Law & Order chief?! #kingofrefferences #wheredoicomeupwiththisstuff? #newrules #itastepennies
Michelle Wolf's correspondents diner set was about as funny as the episode of Happy Days where Archie Bunker stomps a cat to death in a sex magic ritual, ok babe?
You ask me congress should take a queue from the movie The Sandlot: You can't find a dead body in the woods without sticking your dick in some Spaceball pie, capiche Morpheus?
@DLoesch Agreed! These issues should not be side lined just because you look like an ad for cocaine in 1992!
I haven't been this confused since Kaiser Sose turned out to be Charlie Chaplin at the end of that Dodgers game!
Sound as fuck advice from my homegirl @DLoesch thehardtimes.net/hardstyle/need…
I don't mean to get off on a rant here folks, but if the gun is the only thing that survives a mass shooting then why not just build the school out of a giant fucking gun, ok babe?
Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030
1K Followers 1K Following Stand Up Comic. Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.
Craig T. Bronson @Craig203Gooners
369 Followers 397 Following Stand up comedian, New Haven Gooner. Pro Wrestling enthusiast. Your step dad’s drinking buddy.
Daniel Coffey @DanielCoffey42
1K Followers 655 Following Turns Out I'm a Libertarian! Here for the show, not the dough! 😂 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sirsorez @Sirsorezy95Fc
39 Followers 5K Following
Ranees @RaneesJPy
51 Followers 4K Following
Hawdree @HawdreeUCpVYw6
98 Followers 2K Following
Peter W.G. @peterwgacek
237 Followers 679 Following He/Him - Improvisor - Voice Over - Mostly here to entertain myself
Heather Allen @HeatherBats_73
184 Followers 576 Following Champion of Pandaria. Creator of the word Snugglumptious. I'm a nerd and a geek and proud of it. Love me or hate me, that's entirely your choice.
Stuart Seidman @SeidmanStuart
13 Followers 439 Following
Nicole Spann @nicspannaus
641 Followers 2K Following Nicole Spann Homeless Youth Advocate - DEI Speaker Peer Mentor - Writer/Comedian - Emotional Support Extrovert REDUCE SUFFERING (in yourself, then in others)
CJA @GoudyWayne
113 Followers 564 Following
Nathan @Hogdini
685 Followers 4K Following I have 4 dogs, 4 cats, & a 5th cat who thinks he is a dog // Read this book! Burnout https://t.co/9Dg11K3ZLM // He/Him
Michelle 😻😺 �... @GlamRatchet
4K Followers 5K Following New Adventures in Wi-Fi * #cats https://t.co/SboVTDriHR
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 14K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙
Preschool Politics @preKpolitics
997 Followers 1K Following .. providing education about human rights, responsibilities and rules .. let's fix public education for all people .. hashtag games too ..
Arlene B. Heed - POTU... @ArleneBHeed
2K Followers 4K Following Married, mother of 2 young adult children, born in England, naturalized American Citizen, British on my mother's side, Armenian on my Dad's side.
Rajib Hosen @RajibHosen19
0 Followers 18 Following
Mahad Hassan Hersi @Gallad_Hassan
158 Followers 2K Following IT and Accounting trainer For Local and International Colleges.
Arunkumar @Arunkum56728499
21 Followers 776 Following
EddieDeSotos LANsvc @sofarinimout
559 Followers 2K Following "If you need help you can always count on me...yada yada I call & ask about the concern She said someone in the fam told her I was "hooked on the tweeter""
steve (there goes the... @spsnomad
1K Followers 4K Following IT Professional. Friend of democracy. If you're not going to heaven, why only miss it by an inch? Going to be spending most of my time on @spsnomad.bsky.social
Kristen La Bonté @KristenLaBonte
383 Followers 680 Following Tweets about all things Bravo and 🇺🇸 🇫🇷 🇨🇦 politics. It's a cosmic gumbo.
Glen Bartlett @gbartlett79
77 Followers 1K Following
Hank Cochrane @HankCochrane
594 Followers 2K Following Associate Publisher, Picador USA/ Macmillan, Reader, Dad, Friend, Mostly plants. Runs in the dark.
Steve @steve_tweeted
81 Followers 2K Following Just some guy. All my followers are bots. I don't know why I'm 'following' you either.
ALBERT MARKOSYAN @ALBERTMARKOSYA3
54 Followers 1K Following
Diya Aggarwal 🇮�... @RuthiOhanu
1K Followers 6K Following I AM A BHARAT & BIAFRA CITIZEN, AM HERE ASKING FOR FREEDOM, ALL THE WORLD LEADER SUPPORT BIAFRA FREEDOM🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇱🇮🇱
sadia @pavelmaksud
294 Followers 4K Following hi I am sadia and I am a professional digital marketer. Now i am working in fiverr .If anyone need may marketing service for promote business,contact me
Salman Ismat @SalmanIsmat
393 Followers 2K Following Writer and lawyer. No opinions are my own. (him/her/them/it)
homeless ball pit wit... @vodkagingerale
213 Followers 932 Following I saw some ducks and now I can't get it together emotionally.
Meg-han 🦀 @TheRealMegJon
737 Followers 5K Following East coaster in a west coast world. Ditch the car. Replace parking lots with housing. Environmentalist. Sometimes hypocrite. she/her/pinballnerd
Jeff Cardello @JCardello
1K Followers 2K Following Writing | cycling | comedy | coding | music | skateboards
Shawny Paper Towels @HighbrowShawn
640 Followers 648 Following The Shogun’s Decapitator. *Rightful* heir to the Murray’s Hair Pomade fortune. 🇵🇸🇸🇩🇨🇩
Daniel Kalwhite @Dannyboy3030
1K Followers 1K Following Stand Up Comic. Too crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.
darren sechrist 💙 @DarrenSechrist
606 Followers 129 Following he/his/him. No opinions are my own. 3rd funniest person on Twitter.
Michelle Wolf @michelleisawolf
407K Followers 384 Following pre-order Nice Lady album: https://t.co/jJ8mDBSE7v
Jeff Rosenstock @jeffrosenstock
56K Followers 414 Following Song Do-er / Craig of the Creek Composer / Back To The Island co-host blurtin' through a corpse
Freckle Face Strawber... @MicrocosmicClod
439 Followers 225 Following Anti-fascist (or "Antifa" for short. Lover of good books, good movies and the original Funny Face drink mix.
Dana Loesch @DLoesch
1.3M Followers 4K Following *Throttled account* Host @DanaLoeschRadio 12-3pm ET weekdays. Author, 2A advocate. Daughter of thunder trying to live Proverbs 31:30.
Md ali @Mdali70228485
2 Followers 68 Following
Don't fuck Racists @stopfuckingthem
20 Followers 144 Following Stop fucking horrible people just because they are good at hiding their racism most of the time No excuses They suck,so you shouldn't.DM me bigots I'll post em
Philip Hernandez @philip24601
22K Followers 17K Following 🎙 Audie Finalist Audiobook Narrator 🎬 Broadway & TV Actor 🇫🇷 Les Miz Bway (Valjean & Javert) 📺 Blue Bloods, Bull, The Blacklist & more…
Stephen Saporito @SteveSaps
121 Followers 516 Following
John Kurucz @JohnKurucz
946 Followers 3K Following Award-winning freelance journalist, copywriter and editor.
Nenet @nenetx
845 Followers 2K Following Buenos Aires-born, US-based music writer ✸ Best Latin Music on @bandcamp ✸ Bilingüe.
Fake David Fricke @FakeDavidFricke
2K Followers 3K Following A joke. Not David Fricke of Rolling Stone magazine.
🧵 QVILTING IST KVL... @kvltqvilts
447 Followers 954 Following Everything for Everyone and Nothing for Ourselves #blacklivesmatter #vegan #straightedge #longarmquilter #freemotionquilter #berninausa
Michelle JonI @michellejoni
2K Followers 2K Following ✨Let’s make perMAGICulture✨ Resurrecting my GlitterTwitter into Xdom cuz is this the best way to talk to you?
Scott Dikkers @ScottDikkers
7K Followers 2K Following 🦹 Comedy Supervillain 📕 The Onion Story (Oct. 28, 2025)
Chris Nakis @chris_nakis
821 Followers 655 Following I made a short comedy special titled 'Swimmingly'. You can watch it here: https://t.co/vQrOhv0HyO
Frederick Ollinger @codingequanimi2
275 Followers 2K Following Techno-Optimist / DevOps Work: GCP / Terraform Play: FreeBSD / C++ / Rust / JS (currently learning) Fan: Rust / FreeBSD / ZFS
Comix Roadhouse @ComixRoadhouse
5K Followers 2K Following 🍴 Roadhouse Restaurant + Craft Beer Bar 🎤 Live Music Every Weekend + Karaoke on Thursday 🎭 Standup Comedy 🐂 Bull Riding, Beer Pong + Dancing
Meg-han 🦀 @TheRealMegJon
737 Followers 5K Following East coaster in a west coast world. Ditch the car. Replace parking lots with housing. Environmentalist. Sometimes hypocrite. she/her/pinballnerd
Cheri Gargano @CheriGargano
6 Followers 161 Following
CompanyMarketingToMil... @Try_Too_Hard_CO
366 Followers 2K Following Hey we're just a chill company that totally understands you millennials! #YOLOWOKE
sofie @shunnarahmemes
19 Followers 90 Following this twitter is an inaccurate representation of me for more info pls find me in real life
HÉCTOR MOZZ SMITHS @Ektwp___
362 Followers 3K Following Ella dice que me ama; lo más probable es que esté loca...
Gatdam Hakkebøf @SweetMamaJT
84 Followers 394 Following build homes, grow food. dont let em brainwash you
Teddy Hose @teddyhose
1K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/CKX8bmLop3 Artist/Writer/Humorist. Cult survivor on A&E + Netflix. CV: HuffPost, Laughing Squid, McSweeney’s. TikTok:@2dhose IG:@teddyhose
The Action Item @TheActionItemHQ
31 Followers 290 Following The Action Item is America's premiere fake careers site. Contact [email protected]
chessnoobplayer @lowennews
870 Followers 418 Following
mickeyq1370 @mickeyq1370
78 Followers 186 Following Afternoons 2 to 6pm on Q1370 am and 99.9fm in Harfor Co. stream at https://t.co/f24bu41L4l or Download the Ap Q1370. Or watch us on FB live (Mickey's page)! #McFam
Austin Burgess @MtnDwellerMusic
45 Followers 453 Following
Chris Huber @chubes4
848 Followers 1K Following founder of https://t.co/cB1oNFSbZ8 • engineering @automattic • building agents • automating WordPress multisite empire
MarQuis Trill | Youtu... @marquistrillx
1.9M Followers 3.7M Following Bitcoin Class of 2017 | Crypto Trader of The Year 2018 | Binance & Forbes Top 50 Influencer | I manage creators & businesses with content, growth and strategy
Steve @steve_tweeted
81 Followers 2K Following Just some guy. All my followers are bots. I don't know why I'm 'following' you either.
PennyTresjon 🇰🇭... @PennyTresjon
760 Followers 5K Following National University of Singapore, Thanat Khoham Chair of ASEAN Studies
Simon Poole @SimonPooleMusic
695 Followers 2K Following Musician. Composer for #overlordandtheunderwoods
Maxwell Conser @MaxwellConser
80 Followers 599 Following
Your Favorite Band Su... @YFBSpod
9K Followers 89 Following The bravest podcast in the world. Every band is overrated. Every band sucks, especially your favorite band. By @musiccitymark and @TylerMahanCoe.
Karly Kingsley @karlykingsley
94K Followers 29K Following Not your Mama’s #MarthaStewart | Journalism | Politics | Tech + AI | Former Chef l CT + MA
Garageland @garage_land
20K Followers 989 Following Limited Edition Gig Posters, Alternative Movie Posters and Art Prints
Pinky Promise Podcast @pinkypromisepod
262 Followers 725 Following Comedians Laura Manasewich @sassymzmanassy and Katie Arroyo @katiegarroyo take a look back at growing up; the good, the bad, and the REALLY awkwardYou might like
