Councillor Rowan Battley @CllrBattley
Council leader of Chadwell, twinned with Las Vegas. Husband to Lola, proud father of Sally & Pericles. Scoutmaster/nudist. Dream big. ko-fi.com/councillorrowa… Chadwell Joined September 2019-
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Dreadful day. Working in treasury when the finance director let out a wild, unintelligible scream, leapt out of the window & scrambled up the side of the building to the roof. Trying to lure him down now. Frankly I’m beginning to rue the day I appointed a gibbon to public office.
I met the dear old Fab Four when they played Chadwell Town Hall in ‘63. Afterwards we threw a reception for them where I entertained them with my impression of Little Richard. As you can see they were thrilled. For some reason I can't recall they left after 3 minutes. Happy days.
Thrilled to unveil Chadwell's new Theme Park today. The theme is 'existential despair.' The park will be open 9am-6pm Mon-Sat, excluding Bank Holidays & religious festivals. Enjoy.
One of the greatest citizens in our town's history was the Bishop of Chadwell, Augustus Crunch (1889-1956). Some are saying that displaying his skeleton in a public building is 'morbid,' & 'upsetting.' WTAF? Unbelievable. He stays in the foyer of Chadwell Primary School, end of.
Chadwell is blessed with many splendid tourist spots, not least our wonderful picnicking area overlooking the ring-road. With glorious views of our famous railings, and Wally Crockett's Catering Van nearby, for a family day out it's hard to beat. CHADWELL IS OPEN FOR TOURISM!
It is with great sadness I announce the retirement of Lady Cecilia Harcourt Babberly-Swinnerton, who served the council well for more than fifty years. She will be sorely missed. Hand on heart, in all honesty, I can say that she was one of the council's finest refuse collectors.
Carnage at the village hall last night! Just been down to inspect the damage. Chairs thrown, bottles hurled through windows, ambulances called, sirens flashing, 10 arrested. I think it’s fair to say there’s a question-mark hovering over the future of the over-80s Boggle Club.
Just off to Battley Stadium to watch Chadwell FC play in the qualifiers for the South Northamptonshire Isthmian League Cup. Through some ghastly administrative error we've been drawn against Brazil. God help us all.
Well the Easter interfaith barbecue in the Municipal Gardens was an almighty cluster-f**k. Punch-up between the Episcopalians and the Jainists, and a nun went nuts with a spatula. One thing I've taken away from the whole ghastly experience - never throw a lamb chop at a Druid.
One of the darkest days in Chadwell's history was the Great Hat Shortage of 1922. Rivalling the horrific bowler-drought of 1890, naked heads were the norm. When a beret was spotted in the High St., gang-fights broke out. 16 died fighting over a cap. But we pulled through. #HatDay
An incredible 68 million people have visited Chadwell's Cup-a-Soup Museum since July, putting it in the top 10 visitor attractions in the world, just below Disneyland & the Sistine Chapel. Includes the famous 'Mulligatawney Ride of Death.' Why not visit today? #ProudCouncillor
I swept to power on a pledge to provide social housing to Chadwell's 30,000 homeless scuba divers. I'm thrilled to announce that phase 1 of our affordable housing estate, Stubley Meadows, is complete. I will be holding an underwater press conference tomorrow at 2pm.
I've made no secret of my devotion to nudism. Yet my stroll round the park this evening was RUINED by a caution from a passing constable. If a councillor can't strip naked & dance round a municipal fountain in the moonlight, frankly I don't want to live in this country any more.
I'd like to thank landscape gardener Reg Potter and his assistants Darryl & Monty for doing a wonderful job in transforming the industrial wasteland on the edge of town into this lovely vista. Looking at these before & after pics, hard to believe they achieved this in a weekend.
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@CllrBattley Could be worse, could have been a chameleon hiding all the time
@CllrBattley Criticisms that the gibbon was hired exclusively to serve as a pawn for when the council's finances inevitably collapse are disgusting and speciecist
@CllrBattley @RoryStewartUK I have already visited the theme park. It is located in Purfleet. It has stacked metal modules with ladders inside that you can climb to get a view across the Thames.
@CllrBattley Can I make a suggestion Cllr, That the thermostat on the ‘Fred Dibnah Steam Extravaganza’ is turned down: The paramedic crews at Chadwell’s Royal Infirmary are struggling to keep up.
@CllrBattley @DetInspToilet Inspirational and aspirational. We should consider similar.
@CllrBattley You were ahead of your time dangling your naturist flag and performing in the nude. Five years later and they would have got it.
@CllrBattley They were pinned in the corner. How did they escape?
@CllrBattley The floral wallpaper is still there, time for a change?
@CllrBattley The Bunyan Society wanted it for their Slough of Despond feature.
@CllrBattley May as well call the whole town Pothole Land Battley 😡
@CllrBattley Ooooo, puddles to splash in 🥳
@CllrBattley Nice to see the health and safety brigade hasn’t removed the chemical plunge pools. I powered my house for a week after a 10 minute plunge! Excellent value for money.
@CllrBattley Fun for the kids!
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