Charles Sanders @Charles59496731
Only God can judge me Joined August 2021-
Tweets9K
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Followers429
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Following5K
-
Likes12K
My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard. Personally, I'm on the fence.
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov
I went out for a drink with Medusa. Ended up getting stoned instead.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course? He was perfecting his swing.
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I think I’m being stalked.
What do you call an island entirely populated by cupcakes? Desserted.
Why was the pumpkin lantern scared? It had no guts. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/pum… #Pumpkin #PumpkinJokes #Joke #Humour
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected...
I needed a password that was eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup? Because 1 more would make it… too farty!
Just started my job as an executioner. I'll beheading there soon!
Why did the cyclops stop teaching at school? Because he only had one pupil.
Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza. I guess I should’ve put it on aloha temperature.
I hung some pieces of rope on the wall for decoration. It really ties the room together.
When I was a kid, my dad used to roll me down the hill in tires. Those were the Goodyears.
I entered ten puns into a “best joke competition,” hoping one of them would take the top prize. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I invented a relish, and it's selling well. It's my main sauce of income. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/rel… #Relish #RelishJokes #Joke
Started a new job as a roofer but spilt my coffee all over the tiles. The boss says it's ok, I can wipe the slate clean. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/til… #tile #tilejokes #joke
Sometimes, if you want to be good at pottery, you've got to urn it. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/pot… #Joke #Pottery #PotteryJokes
I've got an electrician friend who always has his interest sparked by the newspaper. He likes to keep up on current affairs. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/spa… #Spark #SparkJokes #Joke #Humour
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My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard. Personally, I'm on the fence.
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov
I went out for a drink with Medusa. Ended up getting stoned instead.
𝕾𝖊𝖝𝖞 𝕿𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖔𝖔 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖊 ..#𝔏𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔵𓃶𝔈𝔳𝔦𝔩... 🅒🅰️🅝🅥🅰️🅢 #tattoos #tattooed #hot #hotbabes #justinked #inked @katsandcrows
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course? He was perfecting his swing.
Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off. I think I’m being stalked.
What do you call an island entirely populated by cupcakes? Desserted.
Why was the pumpkin lantern scared? It had no guts. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/pum… #Pumpkin #PumpkinJokes #Joke #Humour
I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected...
I needed a password that was eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup? Because 1 more would make it… too farty!
Just started my job as an executioner. I'll beheading there soon!
Why did the cyclops stop teaching at school? Because he only had one pupil.
Just burnt my Hawaiian pizza. I guess I should’ve put it on aloha temperature.
I hung some pieces of rope on the wall for decoration. It really ties the room together.
When I was a kid, my dad used to roll me down the hill in tires. Those were the Goodyears.
I entered ten puns into a “best joke competition,” hoping one of them would take the top prize. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I invented a relish, and it's selling well. It's my main sauce of income. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/rel… #Relish #RelishJokes #Joke
Started a new job as a roofer but spilt my coffee all over the tiles. The boss says it's ok, I can wipe the slate clean. punsandoneliners.com/randomness/til… #tile #tilejokes #joke
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