BadTemperedBarTender @BarTemper
Serving up pints of beer and buckets of scorn. Every bar everywhere ever. Joined August 2014-
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When is a door not a door? When people keep on banging on the window and trying to come in, despite the fact that you are obviously closed.
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@ollieparry21 You know what? I take it back. There are no stupid questions... Just stupid people.
@ollieparry21 If you don't get the answer you want, yours asking the wrong questions.
If you ask a stupid question, expect a stupid answer.
"I've got a tab..." "No problem, what was the name it was under?" "Mine." "..." "..."
You want a flake in that? Hilarious. Okay. That'll be £1. Or, you can shove it up your arse for free and fuck off while you're doing it.
Between ordering one pint and the next is not the ideal time to have a full conversation.
Dear The Man At The Bar Talking Very Loudly... I can tell you're obviously very important, but can we please use our inside voices. Thanks.
Was that a pint or a half? Yes I know you want lemonade, but how much of it? Yes I know you want lemon and ice, but in what measurement!?
"I'm not saying that women don't know anything about ale..." Then shut the fuck up before you contradict that statement.
I don't know what you want. Don't blame me for the fact that you don't either.
You tried this beer the other day, but it had a different name, a different ABV and it tasted different? Was it, in fact, a different beer?
Interesting phrasing you used there. “My pint got spilled.” I see you have chosen to attempt to absolve yourself of blame. But I saw you.
Three men go into a pub. They stay for hours, have a great time, all agree it couldn't have been better. 4* TripAdvisor review.
I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that. YOU came into MY pub and are now just standing there. “Hello." Your move.
“I need a drink." What would you like? “I don’t know…” Beer, spirits, wine, cider, soft…? “I don’t know… Surprise me.”
Sometimes I say “Thank You” in a really shitty way because it makes me feel like I’ve won. You learn to find comfort in the little things.
Hey, do you remember that time when…? No, of course you don’t, you were way too drunk… But I remember... Yes I do... I know your shame...
It’s Christmas time. Don’t be a dick, be patient and tip generously. If you meet these conditions then I hope your Christmas is merry.
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