RN @upminster13
TN LL SB FF 🏴 Upminster, Essex, UK Joined July 2013-
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Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers that have gone but not forgotten ❤️
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My dog swallowed a load of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet but not a word yet.
I failed to win the Viagra-eating contest because of the stiff competition
English can be weird, because "It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though." is a completely normal statement
If a doctor eats an apple a day, does he go away?
I found a wooden shoe in the toilet, and realized it was clogged.
My father ran the marathon and my mother ran the 1500 meters so I grew up with mixed race parents.
There’s a new TV show about origami on paper view.
I would tell you a chemistry joke, but the good ones Argon.
After weeks wondering why my phone kept autocorrecting "surely" to "Shirley", I realized I'd left it in Airplane mode.
Good News, I've entered the World Agoraphobia Championships. Bad News, I have an outside chance of winning.
I was given 4 E's and LSD last night... What an awful start to a game of Scrabble!
My hairdresser asked if I wanted my haircut round the back. I asked, “Why? Isn’t the shop big enough?
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, "Yes, try Sarah Topps.”
My grandad tried to warn everybody the Titanic was going to hit the iceberg and sink, but no matter how many people he told, or how loud he shouted, everybody just ignored him, until in the end they threw him out of cinema.
I'd put on a lot of weight, so I decided to phone Weight Watchers. I asked if they could send somebody round. They replied: "No problem, we've got lots of them."
I struggle with counting Roman numerals until I reach 159. Then it CLIX.
You ever try blindfold archery? You don't know what you're missing.
Only just had my Christmas Dinner. Those slow cookers are ****** rubbish!!..
Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires sticking out of it. He rings the police and says he thinks he’s found a bomb in a sandwich. Operator: is it tickin? Paddy: no it’s Ham and Cheese.
Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot
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💂🏻♀️👋... @BigBearF1
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The Dad Joke Man @DadJokeMan
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Dayer @dayersfs
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JayR1972 @jayr1972
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Col @countcol
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The Bard of Thornton ... @Norfolkinidea
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archivetvmusings @archivetvmus71
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𝓒𝓪𝓼𝓾𝓪�... @TheCasualSniper
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