Quoth Andy @quothandy
This is where we shame Andy into becoming a better person. Because it's funny. Joined November 2009-
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H: What brand of aftershave do you use? A: I think it's NVIDIA.
[Arguing with my father over whether "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon is a good "dis" of Warren Beatty or not.]
@cswiii: Nothing to be ashamed of here...is there?
[On Christmas tree ornament storage] I ordered this by transportation! This isn't where the submarine is supposed to be!
[On finding tree tinsel] I bet if no one else has it, the pig people at Walmart want it.
I got really mad at that eating club because they were so rude. I think that ruined the movie for me. (cc: @kaylakro)
H: Now I need a giant rubber penis. A: I don't want to buy that. H: Why not? A: It's probably really expensive.
Are the birds we have here just mockingbirds, or mockingjays?
H: It smells like there's a dead fish in the engine. A: I was just thinking it smelled like my parents' car.
You know what always bothered me about Woody Woodpecker? His beak was turned up at the end. How was he supposed to peck wood?
[On his aches and pains] This morning it was mostly my hips and buttocks. Now it's my knees.
Why would anyone buy that new Fiat? It looks like it has Downs Syndrome.
If we could live anywhere, we'd live in Snootyville.
Trump Neck @trumpneck
53 Followers 264 Following I ain't much for Mexicans but I sure do enjoy the value of Taco Bell. I'm doing the fuckin Lord's work.
Arthur Benavides @Rawastrand1
44 Followers 859 Following
Lynette @nettekins
355 Followers 246 Following addicted to coffee & topo chico ✨ senior product designer @Zendesk 🕊 I tweet my own opinions
David R. Strong 🌳�... @drschaos
2K Followers 5K Following Some adult content. RT channel for @davidrstrong ✌❤🎶 DMs open [email protected] IG: davidrstrong https://t.co/gWuf2fC8uh
Kayla Kromer @KaylaKro
2K Followers 331 Following Miss Kayla Kromer is a teacher who made the Hamburger Bed, the Millennium Falcon bed and etceteras. check out those hot etceteras
Cking Oline @CkingShop
38 Followers 269 Following Show off show their fashion, and take the trend line, the general feeling of flying faster than the others step CKing Square Foot shadow shoes along with you ev
Romilly Robinson @romamoma
79 Followers 112 Following Opinions / comments posted here are my own; most dogs posted here are not - adopt one!
Andrew Dupont @andrewdupont
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erin bond @greeneyeddesign
35 Followers 99 Following graphic design savvy geek. love texas wine, DIY projects and my army of tabby cats. meow.
James Pound @JSterlingPound
554 Followers 1K Following Event & Trivia Host. Movie Lover. Costume Wearer.
Chris Heschong @heschong
176 Followers 491 Following
Rob Lifford @roblifford
424 Followers 485 Following Dad, husband, software developer (@madwire), and musician, in whatever order makes the most sense right this second.
jonathan cho @nahdan
719 Followers 171 Following
Ladies R Gross @GrossLadies
43 Followers 104 Following Gross Ladies is a collective account where we share the most banal, beautiful, gratuitous & grotesque of lady thoughts.
David R Strong 🌳�... @davidrstrong
2K Followers 5K Following Benign, native Texan, artist, actor, poet, musician; DMs open; unapologetically curious; CCHS/Rice/UH; RT @drschaos https://t.co/XMIl4mMPC6
Andy 🛋 @andycouch
593 Followers 868 Following
Simone Turkington @Tikidoll
1K Followers 499 Following Writer, napist, podcaster, Melbournian, former child magician, finally an adult magician. Regular Magic Castle performer.
ʙobb x ʜa: 𝕒 �... @b6421
703 Followers 487 Following my niece's least favorite godparent. ◤◢◤◢◤◢ fluorine oxygen rhenium vanadium erbium aluminum oxygen neon. ◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢ often depicted as an 𓅓
Nova Renninger @NovaRenninger
156 Followers 2K Following
Janice Noske @thejanice
174 Followers 301 Following True stories of a walking calamity. Texpat, fake ginger, avid eater, professional tv junkie, & enthusiastic parade rainer. Allergic to life. (she/her)
IKEA Round Rock @IKEA_Round_Rock
2K Followers 456 Following Official IKEA Round Rock page – sharing #design inspiration & smart solutions to make life at home easier. © Inter IKEA Systems B.V. 2016
Crash Override @CrashOverrideNW
5K Followers 1 Following Online Abuse Crisis Helpline, resource center, and advocacy group led by @UnburntWitch and @AlexLifschitz. Email info (at) https://t.co/ESKTCbhUmp for info.
Mayor Kirk Watson @KirkPWatson
35K Followers 1K Following Mayor of Austin. Sign up for my weekly newsletter: https://t.co/HrtW3h8A5J
rob delaney @robdelaney
1.3M Followers 2 Following You can get my book, A Heart That Works, at the link below.
SXSW Partyzzzzz @SXSWPartyzzzzz
7K Followers 0 Following OMG SXSW PARTIES! WHO WANTS TO PARTY? GO TO THIS PARTY! THESE ARE ALL THE PARTIES! I LOVE SXSW PARTIES! #SXSW
Buzz Moran @buzzmoran
407 Followers 1K Following Voice of the Alamo Drafthouse, live sound effects for The Intergalactic Nemesis, sound designer, music editor, audio listener.
Modern Seinfeld @SeinfeldToday
579K Followers 0 Following What if Seinfeld were still on the air? (Tweets by @JackPMoore and @JoshGondelman.)
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