Dearest Karen, We advanced on the Mall today confident we would prevail, we were not prepared for the carnage of war. The liberals began their assault with facts and logic, my ignorance shielded me from their attacks. A glitter device detonated causing many men to question their
Dearest John, It’s been days since last we spoke, and I’ve been trying my best to hold down the fort in your absence, but the little ones are growing pale and weak from the lack of supplies, and so I had no choice, but to head out, without you. I grabbed any hopefully non-recyclable plastic bags I could find, hopped into the drivers seat of the Suburban, and set my course for corn nuts and Mt. Lightning. Surely, there would be a Walmart or a Dollar Tree within a days travel… after what felt like endless searching, or like 15 minutes of driving, there it was. The sign of the Devil. A red bullseye in the sky. I knew I needed to turn away. Run, I thought. It’s not worth it! I’d rather die!!! But then I saw little Gunner and Rapid Fire Shooter Jr’s faces… so long since deprived of high fructose corn syrup, red dye 47 & polysyllabic preservatives, and I knew I had to steel myself, and forge ahead. Into the belly of the beast. It was awful. Air conditioning. Songs I knew the words to playing on the loudspeaker. The smell of satanic coffee drifting like a soft ocean breeze on a warm summer night… but I wasn’t going to let my guard down. I knew the rainbow brigade was lurking. I knew I had to get the ketchup chips and run. I knew I couldn’t let myself catch the… WOKE. People were smiling. Kids were laughing. So much GROOMING. It was almost too much. But, by the grace of God, I evaded the indoctrinators. I am much changed by the journey. I fear maybe forever. But at least I know that I didn’t have to subject our boys to that horrible place. P.S. we’re once again out of Ranch. That was like a day. Fare well, my love. Return to us soon. Always, Karen