Meadowsnark Lemon @meadowsnark
Brother, can you spare a lime? favstar.fm/users/meadowsn… way out on a limp limb Joined February 2010-
Tweets7K
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Followers872
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Following1K
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Likes7K
At this point in my life I would just be happy being courted by a woman with hairy arms and to own a few chickens.
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Not much for fish , war makes me nauseous and I prefer not to hate, so the window of opportunity to be a monger of sorts is narrowing.
Meadowsnark Lemon retweeted
I overwhelmed my date and the cat got her tongue, but I fed the rest of her to the pigs.
I'm not one to brag but double arm amputees just can't hold a candle to me.
Most are unaware, politicians supplement their income by milking each others nipples for snake oil to peddle to elderly without health care.
I've been out of the loop for awhile. Are we still giving a fuck or has that fad waned?
After his disfiguring car accident it's now considered rude to laugh in the face of adversity.
Just spent the day posting snappy retorts on facebook to arguments I had with people 20 years ago.
I spread myself too thin and my lungs collapsed.
Conrad Murray may have been responsible for little Gary Colemans death but he gave him a happy childhood growing up in the Drummond estate.
When the viagra kicks in Hugh Hefner rings a taco bell on his nightstand.
I want to win a lottery primarily to lower the odds I'll be struck by lightning.
Knowing how catty women can be, I suspect there's a plethora of veiled threats in a harem.
"You're momma is so ugly, Jebediah never even forced her to wear a chastity belt!" - Amish diss
#FF everyone on @Dumbassador under-followed lists to build a supportive following & avoid the frustration of being oppressed in your efforts
If I was a pool shark with a wooden leg, I would use the cue as a walking stick and open my case to pull out & screw in my leg for attention
A flash mob tried extorting money from me by threatening to expose their genitals from under their trench coats.
I don't even like milk so I can't figure out why I enjoy a nice set of titties but I'm not going to over think it.
Going to try to work as many bee gees lyrics into conversations tomorrow and see how long it takes to get punched in the face.
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