mrs. jalen hurts @intrusiveth0t7
do not show this to my mom Joined November 2023-
Tweets76
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Followers19
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Following35
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Likes34
sometimes you just have to abuse substances and move on
didn’t corn dog anyone yesterday, where is my reward?
new nails, new personality. I do not make the rules
few things are funnier than a hangover related health scare, like am I actually dying or is my body just fighting off the 32 seltzers I drank?
*in desperate need of physical touch* omg yes I’d love to watch the royals game with you tomorrow
He’s waiting with bated breath to see which Taylor Swift song you post on your story, choose wisely
Do not show this to maggie keller
this is what it feels like to re-download any dating app
my drunk door dash is a little bit more humiliating at 6pm on a Sunday
i’m what we call an OINK. one income, no kids. living on slop in my little pen
something about me? never been scared to blow up a man’s phone. 5 texts in a row, 3 calls, 2 FaceTimes all in a span of 10 min? baby idgaf
if calling everyone brother became illegal
not now sweetie, mommy is lusting after someone unattainable
me when the group chat doesn't respond to "what are we doing this weekend"
me when the group chat doesn't respond to "what are we doing this weekend"
i am 3 things. a professional yapper a recreational hater and an occasional tweaker
found it, honey I’m home!
Jack Muffield @JMuffield
215 Followers 274 Following Playing tag with Rhinos, the only way to have some fun
Alli McDonald @ALLI_doiswin3
948 Followers 587 Following
Blasphemous Billy Sho.. @_billy_show
729 Followers 670 Following 2021 Mission Harbor Rehab Patient of the year. Subpar Stand-Up Comedy.
Kylie Caperton @CapertonKylie
227 Followers 1K Following i am big eagles fan and been in past relationships and i have a youtube channel please subscribe to me if you want it is for free
Bilo @the__real_Bilo
307 Followers 381 Following 6’1 in shoes w/ inserts | Changing the world one Instagram story at a time
Patrick Whalen @PatrickWhalen2
306 Followers 393 Following
Caroline Kohring @carolinekohring
397 Followers 471 Following
John Loughran @johnloughran123
489 Followers 435 Following
Kyle Resnik @KyleResnik
443 Followers 402 Following When in Rome, 7x AWL “He’s been a sharp kid” -Rico Bo$co
Claire Penis @ZeroSuitCamus
102K Followers 6K Following I’m the only one who thinks The Pyramids are normal
0 days without yankin.. @glutenfreeperc
15K Followers 1K Following As you can see, I’m choppin hella nuts.
Alli McDonald @ALLI_doiswin3
948 Followers 587 Following
Blasphemous Billy Sho.. @_billy_show
729 Followers 670 Following 2021 Mission Harbor Rehab Patient of the year. Subpar Stand-Up Comedy.
Bilo @the__real_Bilo
307 Followers 381 Following 6’1 in shoes w/ inserts | Changing the world one Instagram story at a time
Patrick Whalen @PatrickWhalen2
306 Followers 393 Following
John Loughran @johnloughran123
489 Followers 435 Following
Gwenn Pietrowski @GPietrow
385 Followers 240 Following
Mackenzie Porter @porter_kenz
82 Followers 121 Following Old account got deleted so just gonna try again🙃
TK @Husker_TK
124 Followers 454 Following
Molly Kuehl @BiggerDealKuehl
591 Followers 643 Following
ThickyRicky @theeRicoTaquito
21K Followers 245 Following
MILKY WAY GHETTO 🌌 @JayJurden
30K Followers 2K Following he/him. comic / actor / writer / X-Men nerd/writer! - bisexual demon / booking - https://t.co/ikhegHrDPH
HELLOTEFI 🐇 @hellotefi
94K Followers 792 Following estefanía. pop culture, astrology, self-love and how much we hate ur ex. miami born living in brooklyn
serena shahidi @glamdemon2004
94K Followers 825 Following Every day I go to a party and listen to everyone tell me how skinny I look. Then I go to the next party and listen to the same thing. And that’s my life!
Brooke Schofield @BroookeAmber
82K Followers 280 Following
Meech CEO of PinePals @MediumSizeMeech
54K Followers 547 Following Handsome writer. Chris Pine lover. Humble Xeeter. Subscribe to my Newsletter 𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙈𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙄𝙩! he/him [email protected]
Caroline Kohring @carolinekohring
397 Followers 471 Following
Kyle Resnik @KyleResnik
443 Followers 402 Following When in Rome, 7x AWL “He’s been a sharp kid” -Rico Bo$co
Barstool KU @BarstoolKU
58K Followers 704 Following Affiliate of @BarstoolSports | Not Affiliated with @UnivOfKansas | Owner of the “Disrespectful Shaq Posterizer” .gif | Do it for the KUlture | IG📸 BarstoolKU
Kansas Men’s Basket.. @KUHoops
944K Followers 243 Following #PayHeed All Who Enter // Official Tweets from Kansas Basketball // 6x Natty Champs 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆What a story from a lifelong Jayhawk ❤️💙
This is an awesome @KUHoops throwback 🥹 (h/t @RedditCFB)
Seated for Challengers 🙏🏽🎾🫂
@_billy_show Step 1: come out of retirement Step 2: put up numbers
26 and getting bullied by your geriatric husband and his stalker ex. She should've been at the club
Alcoholic? I think the politically correct term is beast mode
Saying bye to my friends at the bar as I go home with a mysterious older man
i’m what we call an OINK. one income, no kids. living on slop in my little pen
sorry I’m a little booked and busy this summer
not fight, not flight, but a secret third option (call my mom about it)
“Consider what you’re about to do, Paul Atreides” Paul:
Phew, thought it was the 14 dirty martinis
Long COVID could be the reason for your bad hangovers: research trib.al/vK5NcSs
Kate and William should recreate this as their return to Instagram post
If I had a nickel for every movie Timothée Chalamet spends an entire movie in love with a girl but ends up marrying Florence Pugh as his second choice due to societal norms I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's a weird coincidence.
Convincing my non movie going friends to go see Dune Part 2 multiple times will not be easy but is necessary. We need to convince them one by one. We will start with the weak ones. The ones that fear us. We will make them all believe.
(desperate for skin to skin contact voice) I hope your college basketball parlay hits
I’d be seated sorry I want to see Patrick Bateman pop a zyn
Lionsgate is looking to do a modern remake of #AmericanPsycho (via @TheInSneider)
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