Dr. Rachel (Conscious Psychologist) @heydrrachel
Clinical Psychologist ✨ Founder of The Numinous Path: My Psycho-Spiritual Paradigm for Whole Self Healing and Transformation instagram.com/heydrrachel San Francisco, CA Joined May 2018-
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2024 ✨Compassion > criticism. ✨ Deep knowing of personal truth > fear of judgment. ✨ Trust in the perfection of our rhythms > other people's timelines. ✨ Getting curious > assuming. ✨ Safe connections & intimacy > distrust and avoidance. ✨ Honest conversations and deep…
✅💚GREEN FLAGS: They ask you good questions which leaves you steadily feeling like they want to know you They hold space for the questions they ask, they’re present in listening to your answers. They are attuned to you and the environment. They track your safety, your…
Their relationship themself determines how they treat you. It’s a matter of what you allow. Not what you’re worthy of.
When the need to be chosen is greater than the ability to discern by who... it's an inner child with the actual need to be safe with you. Safe in your ability to decide well, respect yourself, focus on quality and consistency of character and how someone leaves you feeling.…
Are they available to you regularly? Responsive in the relationship? Engaged at an emotional level? If not and you're investing your heart into them, it's self-abandonment. Your needs for relational security are legitimate. Claiming your needs is the start of healing your…
If the priority isn’t emotional safety, the relationship will not succeed. At an attachment level, that’s all we need.
As you are right now... would the kind of person you want to be with want to be with you? What we want and what we're ready to engage in can be different. It's easy to have desire. But the readiness for an evolved relationship is something we cultivate. It's not whether…
If they don't want you, this means they aren't your person. It doesn't mean you're not desirable to anyone. It doesn't mean you'll be alone forever. It doesn't mean you're unworthy. It doesn't mean you have to convince them. It means they are not aligned with you. And if you're…
Compatibility and chemistry don’t matter without capacity. Secure attachment stems from someone's capacity to be emotionally responsive, available, and engaged. You can feel excited by them, turned on by them, and it can seem on paper like they've got it all. But those will…
Unrequited love is an inner child playing out their pain of not feeling chosen by their parent. And trying to rectify it by reliving it through your romantic life. Any time you feel longing for someone who is not choosing you, you are being invited to choose your inner child.
Someone who hasn't chosen themselves: Will be more likely to resent you than be honest with you Hasn't learned how to see their own truth and needs, which makes them unable to see yours Won't be able to honor what matters to you May have good intentions and heart, but not be…
Longing to be with someone unavailable makes you unavailable. If your attention is on someone who isn't showing up to the degree you want and need, you won't see the one who will. And they won't experience you as open to them. The longer you entertain someone unavailable, the…
Someone who chooses themselves doesn't *need* to be chosen. Which means they have more access to their no, honors what they need, sets boundaries, and supports a culture of respect and understanding. Which makes them more trustable in relationship. A person who chooses…
Conscious singles: Don't rush into relationships just for the sake of being in one Discern who to deepen with based on their needs, boundaries, values, and standards Heal their hearts from past relationships before entering new ones Enter relationships ready to interrupt…
An overwhelming need to be chosen comes from an abandonment wound. Not abandoning yourself is what heals the fear and creates a stronger ground to relate from. Choose yourself by: Creating time to be alone Prioritizing your needs Getting to know yourself deeply Feeling what’s…
Hello dear ones! If you’re around tomorrow and wanna connect in real time live 🎉 I’m offering a free webinar! Deepening Connection: A Journey into Embodied Self-Intimacy ❤️🔥 lifetime replay access! Hope to see you! ✨🩷 heydrrachel.com/embodiedselfin…
Someone doesn't become emotionally available unless they process past pain, resolve fears of intimacy, get curious about their experience, feel through their bodies what's alive, develop empathy, and make space to more intimately know themselves at deeper and deeper levels.…
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Love is all about learning. Understand your partner’s preferences, their emotional history, the trauma they are overcoming and their deepest goals — this will help you love better. You can’t read their mind but you can familiarize yourself with your partner’s emotional terrain.
"Be patient in becoming someone you have never been.'
I believe deeply that the majority of people of all kinds do not want to see Gaza leveled and innocents killed, & that they feel and hold the pain of Israeli families destroyed. We must build on our solidarity and common humanity to stop an atrocity in the making. End the cycle.
See you in Boston on 10/13 yungpueblo.com/events
Hard truth: Your relationship with silence will reflect how at home you feel within your own mind and body. If you need to get away from yourself, there is unprocessed pain within you that needs attention and care.
Take the day off once in a while - when it's not scheduled. Take a nap - when it's just not possible. Stop and be good to yourself.
It’s hard to stay in a relationship with someone who does not see the way they project the tension in their mind into their daily interactions
Preorder my new book here: amazon.com/dp/1524874833/
Finally entered the phase where I just want to be around kind people who keep it real and love to grow. The only people I think are cool now are those who focus on building emotional intelligence, unbinding past trauma and gaining insight through self-awareness.
Read more: amazon.com/Lighter-Connec…
It’s not about looking for a perfect partner, it’s about looking for someone who is ready for love. Ready doesn’t mean you have it all figured out, it just means you are aware of your imperfections and want to put energy into your growth. Find someone who can blossom with you.
The energy for May is: Only doing what feels genuinely right in your intuition and letting everything else go
First post in the thread made me go OUCH. Then I read the whole thing and read it again, and am glad I saw this.
A child who was emotionally neglected becomes an adult who feels safest in relationships that lack intimacy. This is the cause of obsessing about or settling for someone who's unavailable to be with you.
@heydrrachel I had a hunch but this post and going through all these questions made me realize I'm with someone who isn't emotionally available or mature. All of these things happened between us and I'd like to thank you because now I know I need to let go.
@heydrrachel Amazing thread! So poignant and helpful, thank you 🙏🏾…
When we're unhealed, we're attracted to the "bad boy," chaotic, or unpredictable people. They give us the hit of adrenaline our body craves that we call passion. They allow us to play our familiar role of working or proving ourselves to be loved, just as we did as children. As we…
If you were called "mature for your page" you might have been parentified. Parentification is when a child is made to fill an adult role. This is an "invisible" trauma that has life long impact. Here's why 🧵:
Relationships patterns will remain shallow when no one demands depth and substance from you. This is a manifestation of unspoken agreements to not being fully present and engaged in real connection. We end up living in fantasy relationships with people in our mind.
Don’t look for perfect. Look for someone who is ready to be real. Don’t look for beauty. Look for someone who your intuition gravitates toward. Don’t look for no arguments. Look for someone who is ready to discuss things with gentleness.
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