benny polizzi @benedictpolizzi
comedian @fboyisland HARTFORD April 18 🎟️ OMAHA May 1 🎟️ SYRACUSE May 30 🎟️ tix below benedictpolizzi.com/shows/ Joined November 2010-
Tweets11K
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Followers69K
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Following979
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Likes18K
who’s buyin this? Hidden Valley Cheez-It Ranch
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benny polizzi retweeted
So happy to have @benedictpolizzi back on my tv screen 😍 #LoversAndLiars
i can’t be the only one who thought fruit didn’t have calories
you ever been in an applebee’s and see a commercial for chili’s and think damn i made a mistake
anyone else’s hands get dry when they’re looking through their sock drawer?
dinner time***
thanks croutons for being a gateway drug to stuffing
name on chest driving me 100% insane
name on chest driving me 100% insane
“keep killin it” = i’ve never seen anything you’ve done
i don’t usually fart in public but when i do the hottest woman i’ve ever seen in my entire life is standing directly behind me
this is the only thing i think about
“make yourself at home” = don’t touch anything
spotify wrapped but it’s for how many times i order the same thing at a restaurant
plans today: making a fort and watching the nfl draft
“you’re such a character” = there’s something wrong w you
benny polizzi retweeted
@benedictpolizzi Middle linebacker who’s parents didn’t care if you drank at their house.
if you’re wearing an EGOP take off your helmet and kiss me
this is the only thing i think about
this is the only thing i think about
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@JoeyMulinaro @benedictpolizzi when you guys were talking about THE Christmas church, all I could think of was the 2006 ESPN college football theme song and Brent Musburger going “you are looking live at St. Francis… it’s that time… Christmas” with the most majestic blimp view
@BrandyEckerman @benedictpolizzi But it could bang 🤣
So happy to have @benedictpolizzi back on my tv screen 😍 #LoversAndLiars
Jaguars original uniforms. If you remove the awful Jaguar on the shoulders, it's kind of cool imo. Thoughts? 👍👎? 📷: @McManusDesign
I had a dream that I was on a @united flight that was delayed and I demand an imaginary apology
@benedictpolizzi I had the NJOP in middle school. Coach hated me 😂
@benedictpolizzi This is where the next Jerry Pathon gets drafted
@benedictpolizzi Middle linebacker who’s parents didn’t care if you drank at their house.
@kazooboy69 @benedictpolizzi Releasing his drafts in honor of draft week
“I guess Denver thought his potential is…..Mile High! Dohhhhhh godddd”. - Johnson @benedictpolizzi
@benedictpolizzi Cheez-itz but low key why do cheese nips get so much hate?
Elite handshake to unnecessary pants pull up to hands on hips move from Harbaugh here
big joe is in the building
I LOVE how everyone wants @benedictpolizzi to be happy and find love, even the FGirls that are being eliminated. I hope he gets what he deserves and finds happiness. #LoversandLiars
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