Jew in a Canoe ✡️ @WillieHandler
author of humour/satirical books ⚠️MANY TWEETS ARE HUMOUR & NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY⚠️ Proud Jew ✡️ memoir OUT FROM THE SHADOW to be published by @AmsterdamPB linktr.ee/WillieHandler Toronto, Canada Joined September 2011-
Tweets130K
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Following8K
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I finally have to admit that I’ve been lost in an IKEA store for the past 3 days. I hate asking for directions so I’ve been living on Swedish meatballs and sleeping on a futon. My phone is at 13% so this might it for me.
I believe that more fucks you give, the fewer fucks you have. You reach inner peace when you finally have no fucks to give.
The number of likes a tweet receives is inversely proportional to how intelligent the tweet is. It's science.
Combine childhood trauma and a bottle of wine and that's how social media posts are created.
Remember an apple has 115 calories and a glass of wine has 90 so make a good choice.
Me: I'm wondering about the tanins in this wine and whether it pairs well with roast beef. Clerk: Sir, it's Three Buck Chuck. It goes with everything.
Me: I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Brain: Hold on there. Remember what Ed said last week when he was drunk. Are you just going to accept it? Did you lock the front door? You know you're going to check it. I got a great idea for your manuscript...
I bet all of you are larger in real life. Well other than @kapowfit. 🤣
#snippetoftheday #interview #intergenerationaltrauma "My father had an indoor job in Auschwitz, sorting clothes of dead people. One day, an SS guard said, where's Stalner? Stalner was another prisoner that worked with my dad. My dad was what I would call street smart. My dad…
#snippetoftheday #interview #intergenerationaltrauma "I have my own issues in terms of very high reactivity, especially with my parents, my mother, and my husband. Low self-esteem, no confidence at all. I didn't go back to graduate school until I was 40 because I didn't have the…
#snippetoftheday #interview #intergenerationaltrauma "Our parents could not raise us. We were literally raised by nannies to the point where we saw our parents once a day. At the end of the day, after we were combed and bathed, we went over to their side of the apartment. We got…
Margarete Rosenberg was a German tram conductor who was arrested in September 1940 in Berlin. She was accused of seriously compromising the Berlin Transport Authority by failing to report for work after going out drinking with her female colleagues. Although she admitted to…
Before getting married there should be a basic test, things like buying a sofa together, assembling a dresser, filling and emptying a dishwasher.
#snippetofthday #interview #intergenerationaltrauma "In the Budapest Ghetto my mother had sex with the guards at night so people could escape the Ghetto. It was very planned. My mother was drop dead gorgeous, 16 or 17 years old." - ES "I would say I have problems mostly with…
Author James Fuller @AuthorJFuller
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1K Followers 2K Following Retired journalist, mom, grandma of 4. Photography, gardening, cooking, dog & hubs keep me busy. Big Sumo fan! Pls. no MAGS, DMs or lists. 🖖🏼🌻🐕📷🌊@WillieHandler This is a paradox, yes? If you stop giving fucks to get inner peace, the fucks are being stored up in you. So you give a fuck about nearly everything and have no peace. A sort of Zeno’s paradox. The closer you get to peace, the further away you are.
Today marks the one year anniversary since I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease
@WillieHandler My wife and I went on a day trip in a tandem kayak before our wedding. We learned a lot that day.
@WillieHandler Mr. James and I went mattress shopping early into us dating, cuz I worked for a mattress company at the time and knew how to spot bad deals. The sales guy asked if we were siblings 😶. A nearby couple with another sales guy GASPED in horror. Was hysterical.
@WillieHandler Sharing a bathroom. Which side of the bed you sleep on. Odd teeth brushing behaviour. Bread in the fridge or not. I could go on forever!
@WillieHandler Lol, been there, many times! Hard to fire that committee that is meeting in your head.😅
@WillieHandler I see what you're doing here...🤔🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏
@WillieHandler Hanging a boarder of wallpaper! We are on our 6th house remodel and still standing; however, we don't recommend that many "tests" of marriage resillance and patience.
@WillieHandler See my proof in the next tweet!
@SearatNybbas @jambie61 @WillieHandler Honestly same! My husband and I were married before our first road trip, but we drove from CO to TN, and we didn’t argue once. It was the most validating experience we could’ve had lol.
@WillieHandler The best test would be putting a kids swing set together. We barely made it out alive.