Jacob Bell @UpperBodyKarate
Just crap my kids say. Joined March 2013-
Tweets329
-
Followers57
-
Following203
-
Likes1K
This conversation is evidence of my previous post: Daughter: can I have the same sandwich for lunch that you made me yesterday? Me: sure. Want an egg on it? Daughter: did my sandwich yesterday have an egg on it? Me: no….. Daughter: what do you think then?
Having a kid that’s just like you seems cute until you realize how annoying you can be.
A true test of my parenting skills. I just explained why you can’t eat cookies and milk for breakfast to my daughter, while eating cookies and milk for breakfast.
How Deebo’s rolling into Lambeau Field “Game Day”
Jim Nantz: “The Cowboys have not scored in the first quarter in the last 7 playoff games” Romo, sitting right next to him:
Personal favorites aside, most likely Gengar but I’m old school.
Personal favorites aside, most likely Gengar but I’m old school.
If I knew how often my son would refer to me as “bruh”, I may not have had kids.
Creepy kid update: she told me last night that “we share our house with a family that we don’t know.” Smile on her face and everything like that wasn’t gonna keep me up all night.
Well, It’s all over now. Been a good run for the human race.
Well, It’s all over now. Been a good run for the human race.
Believe in yourself like Kyle Juszczyk believed he could leap over four defenders from the five yard line.
Creepy kid update: daughter wakes up at 4am and asks to sleep on the couch while I work cause she’s scared to go back to sleep. She wakes up a few hours later and the first thing she asks is “who was that man recording me sleeping?” Dafuq is happening in this house.
here's the clip I was talking about on the show:
here's the clip I was talking about on the show:
Creepy kid update: daughter asks me if I want to talk to her friends. I tell her I’m busy but she insists that they asked to talk to me. Fine, I’ll talk to some dolls. Instead she walks me over to the mirror and introduces me to 4 people I’ve never heard of. NOPE, NOPE, NOPE
For every ten people who are stupid, there are ten other people who are also stupid.
Creepy kid update: power goes out and unprompted she says “daddy you cant go in the mud. That’s where my old family is, buried in the mud. I saw you from under the mud and came to you but my old family is still there. That’s why you can’t go in the mud.” 😶
Breaking Twitter hiatus with creepy kid update. “I have to go back to my old family. You took me from them and the police are coming to take me back… don’t worry we’ll all be together in heaven soon.” 😶
My daughter showed me her completed art book the other day. Every single picture was of “the faceless man”. I haven’t slept right in 3 days.
Lura Jellerson @LJellerson47942
22 Followers 5K Following
Rina Millraney @ri_millran
32 Followers 5K Following
Shaquana Seagren @SeagrShaquan
38 Followers 5K Following
Lucia Lapp @LappLucia35718
82 Followers 5K Following
Brooke Draggett @BDraggett90230
93 Followers 5K Following
Ameerah Jesperson @AmeerahJes13821
36 Followers 5K Following
Yasuko Capati @CapatiYasu
39 Followers 5K Following
Shannon Day @ShannonifDay
31 Followers 1K Following Lured the best beauties from all US states 😻 They are ready to meet Some have naked profile photos! Watching this https://t.co/FxqlvXbMsx
Amanda Francis @AmandawlFrancis
40 Followers 956 Following Lured the best beauties from all US states 😚 Ready for private meetings See nude photos before a date! Watching this https://t.co/7Zoq5VBA2e
Saquib Sports @sports_saquib
15 Followers 266 Following Hi I am from sialkot pakistan We are Manufacturer and supplier of brazilian jiu jitsu mma gears boxing equipments muay thai sports wears and accessories.
David Saldierna @DavidSaldiern10
169 Followers 1K Following
Dani Reyes @danileighreyes
277 Followers 389 Following coffee, cupcakes, and whiskey; these are a few of my favorite things
Edgard @bjjedgar1
19 Followers 309 Following
BJustinR @BJustinR
328 Followers 94 Following Soul'd out for CHRIST//Married to @RacheyRuiz// Dad to Miles&Ella --------------------------------------------------
Rob Perez @WorldWideWob
1.2M Followers 1.3M Following Late Night with Wob - Official NBA Postgame Show, exclusively on @SiriusXMNBA ||||| @SorareNBA ||||| @SkyWobAlerts
Joshua @wetjosh
148 Followers 261 Following I try to make things out of wood when I’m not thinking about space and stuff.
Americans United @americansunited
28K Followers 8K Following Americans United brings together people of all religions and none to fight against religious discrimination and protect equality & freedom for all!
"Kampachi Zaraki" fka.. @noremaksnilloc
612 Followers 2K Following Pan-African & I rock the green hoodie in honor of MF DOOM. Pro-Pajama Strangler & expert in slumber sessions. Peach cobbler consultant.
Nima Moridi @SVNinjaRealtor
217 Followers 696 Following Silicon Valley's Ninja Realtor & UC Berkeley Alum. Passionate about real estate, Rotary, martial arts, entrepreneurship & giving back to my community. 🇺🇸
ball.traci @maryjanecontent
119 Followers 510 Following Looking Good, Building my body, working out at the gym and doing deadlifts sums me up in a T
Matthew Byington @ByingtonMatthew
17 Followers 81 Following
Fabrício Carpa @FabricioCarpa
12 Followers 120 Following
wORLD HAPKIYUSUL @ahmeddin81
127 Followers 743 Following
Black Friday Outlet @blackfridayOSD
28 Followers 227 Following
Arlene KKim-Kawamoto @arlene_kkim
18 Followers 95 Following
Mike Prudencio @mike_prudencio
35 Followers 192 Following
Gardenia Young @gardenia_young
11 Followers 119 Following
Lil B THE BASEDGOD @LILBTHEBASEDGOD
1.2M Followers 1.2M Following Mogul, First Rapper Ever To Write And Publish A Book at 19, Film Score, Composer, Producer,Director/Photo/Branding/Marketing/Historical Online Figure #BASED
Anwi Morris @MorrisAnwi
15 Followers 77 Following
Crowdfund your MMA @makeachampmma
5K Followers 19K Following Helped over 400 athletes like you get funding in 2014. Fund your next @IBJJF, Asian, PanAm and other games with MAKEACHAMP! Join free! Tweets by @heri
Rich Duat @DuatRich
11 Followers 88 Following
Kevin Yu @coolkatkevinhi
52 Followers 262 Following
Sean Gilvary 🧃 @heyyosean
188 Followers 334 Following chemical hype boy 🧪 actor 🎭 dancer 🕺 bjj black belt 🦎 uncle 🐣 once 🍭
Who To Start Fantasy @Fantasywts
56 Followers 226 Following I represent bold moves for fantasy owners have a question on who to start? Message me
Thicc Flair @_joaqa
209 Followers 1K Following “How you gon' win when you ain't right within?… Uh uh Come again…” #HealthyAF
Zillow Gone Wild 🏡 @zillowgonewild
619K Followers 10 Following join the zillionaires 🏡. email me wild homes: [email protected]. Subscribe to the Zillow Gone Wild newsletter to never miss a wild home 👇
VisionaryVoid @VisionaryVoid
131K Followers 25 Following Exploring the depths of the unknown, unearthing the mysteries of the universe. Fascinated by the macabre and the extraordinary. An Engineer||DMs open
Scott Van Pelt @notthefakeSVP
2.1M Followers 621 Following S/C @ midnight, or after the game, whichever is later. SVPod, because there just weren’t enough already.
You're Wrong About... @yourewrongabout
136K Followers 3K Following Setting right what we once got wrong. Hosted by @Remember_Sarah, produced by @carekendrick. Social by team. DMs closed, contact info in the link. 💕
BJJotter @JiujitsuOtter
18K Followers 126 Following Highly trained otter. DM us any BJJ questions you have 📩
United World Wrestlin.. @wrestling
175K Followers 1K Following Join the conversations of athletes, fans & friends of #Wrestling around the world 🤼♀️ 🤼♂️ ✉️ [email protected]
They tried but it wen.. @TriedWrong
289K Followers 86 Following posting the best fails, mistakes and funny video. (parody account )
JungleDOGE👹 @JUNGLEDOGEonSol
508K Followers 18 Following Brutal\\Adorable\\Wiggled\\Anti-AI DA DOGE LIVES IN JUNGLE. DA DOGE BLOWS DARTS.
Ten000Hours @DevInTheLab
167K Followers 763 Following Official Twitter account of Devin "Kakashi" Williams | Teacher of Basketball | @inthelabbrand | 📧 [email protected] | Hit me up: +1 (323) 918-4920
NBACentral @TheDunkCentral
1.6M Followers 411 Following Not affiliated with the National Basketball Association | contact ✉️ [email protected] | Formerly @TheNBACentral
H0W_THlNGS_W0RK @HowThingsWork_
2.1M Followers 8K Following The Official How Things Work page. Tech,AI,Art,Science & loads more. Also all the best news & viral content from around the globe.
Fascinating @fasc1nate
3.3M Followers 2K Following Posting interesting science, gadgets, history, art, and more. Subscribe for in-depth posts. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Paulo Costa ( Borrach.. @BorrachinhaMMA
609K Followers 414 Following 👑 The MEME GOD 👑 BLF 🏆CHAD/Mystic 🧙♂️ Mr. Secret Juice 💣#MemeArmy📩 messianic Muslim. [email protected]
Deepak Chona, MD. Spo.. @SportMDAnalysis
74K Followers 4K Following Data-driven injury analyst - NFL/NBA/MLB/fantasy football. Stanford, Harvard-trained sports surgeon. Featured: @ESPN @TheAthletic @Newsweek. Expert @FantasyPros
Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig
1.0M Followers 119 Following Your source for the latest trends, discoveries, and most shocking truths & little-known facts about the world. 🚀 DM us your findings!
Marques Brownlee @MKBHD
6.2M Followers 472 Following Web Video Producer | ⋈ | Pro Ultimate Frisbee Player | Host of @WVFRM @TheStudio
Lyn Alden @LynAldenContact
680K Followers 754 Following Founder of Lyn Alden Investment Strategy. Finance+engineering background. GP @egodeathcapital. BoD at https://t.co/FHNz9MBftH (where I buy my bitcoin).
NOTSportsCenter @NOTSportsCenter
538K Followers 452 Following SportsCenter style sports news, with a FAKE twist! Created by: @NOTSCWill (parody, not actually affiliated with ESPN) Contact/Business: [email protected]
David Giwa @DavidGiwa_
180 Followers 842 Following
God @TheTweetOfGod
6.0M Followers 1 Following Come join Me at @[email protected]. Still can't help plugging My book "The Book of Pslams" out now: https://t.co/3h3qRbmo7c
Shams Charania @ShamsCharania
2.3M Followers 545 Following Senior lead NBA Insider for The Athletic and Stadium. FanDuel Partner and co-host of Run It Back on FanDuel TV.
Ian Rapoport @RapSheet
4.5M Followers 793 Following National Insider for NFL Network and https://t.co/NIVZ6FPz0E. Husband of @thebanktress. Made seven cameos in the movie Draft Day.
Reception Perception @RecepPerception
17K Followers 7 Following Evaluating wide receivers and route running with unique charting data since 2014. @MattHarmon_BYB @JamesDKoh 🎙Podcast- https://t.co/4DkMeC74v7 📺YouTube- https://t.co/PFnq48PDM3
camelcamelcamel.com @camelcamelcamel
5K Followers 6 Following Track prices at Amazon and get notified when they drop.
miHoYo @miHoYo
48K Followers 187 Following Developer of FlyMe2theMoon—a casual physics puzzle game, available on the Apple App Store now!
Aramuhukunda @Genshin_Intel
314K Followers 7 Following Fair Use Disclaimer: https://t.co/xW0acN4Hd8 | Special thanks to @dimbreath, Falzar, @lumie_lumie, @HoneyDodogama, and Sylph for their contributions!
Crunchyroll @Crunchyroll
9.1M Followers 590 Following ✨ Welcome to the official account for Crunchyroll✨ Bringing you the latest & greatest anime at the speed of Japan ~ !
Genshin Impact @GenshinImpact
5.5M Followers 17 Following In the world of Teyvat — where all kinds of elemental powers constantly surge — epic adventures await, fearless Travelers!
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.7M Followers 2 Following
Anthony Slater @anthonyVslater
218K Followers 719 Following Covers the Warriors and NBA at large for The Athletic. Email: [email protected]
BBC Breaking News @BBCBreaking
51.7M Followers 3 Following Breaking news alerts and updates from the BBC. For news, features, analysis follow @BBCWorld (international) or @BBCNews (UK). Latest sport news @BBCSport.
Star Trek Minus Conte.. @NoContextTrek
106K Followers 161 Following Double dumbass on you, and so forth. (These are all real) #StarTrek🖖🏽 Always read the #AltText. Also on mastodon and bsky if you fancy that.
NASA @NASA
80.3M Followers 174 Following There's space for everybody. ✨ Verification: https://t.co/8nok3NP4PW
BBC News (World) @BBCWorld
40.7M Followers 16 Following News, features and analysis from the World's newsroom. Breaking news, follow @BBCBreaking. UK news, @BBCNews. Latest sports news @BBCSport
Pete Buttigieg @PeteButtigieg
3.7M Followers 3K Following Personal account. For official updates, follow @SecretaryPete. Husband, father, veteran, writer, South Bend’s former Mayor Pete. (he/him)
BJustinR @BJustinR
328 Followers 94 Following Soul'd out for CHRIST//Married to @RacheyRuiz// Dad to Miles&Ella --------------------------------------------------
The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
9.2M Followers 1K Following Weeknights 11/10c on @ComedyCentral and @paramountplus.
Peter Alexander @PeterAlexander
470K Followers 862 Following @NBCNews Chief White House Correspondent / Weekend @TODAYshow Co-Anchor / Oakland native / Cats & Cubs fan / RT’s are not endorsements
Aloha Plate Truck @AlohaPlateTruck
2K Followers 315 Following Aloha Plate Returns Triumphant! Winners of the Food Network’s Great Food Truck Race
NASA Goddard @NASAGoddard
947K Followers 172 Following Welcome to your friendly neighborhood space flight center, home to the largest community of scientists & engineers on Earth. Verification: https://t.co/pNeQVaC40m
Wonder of Science @wonderofscience
2.5M Followers 42 Following "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." - Albert Einstein
Matthew Orsi @mattieuhO
153 Followers 1K Following Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers. - Anonymous
@kateeee85 Disagree. Dave Pash and Bob Myers absolutely suck. Why are they sending us their D team?
LSU saw the video of Wake Forest huh
@_joaqa I do this every day.
Dominick Cruz says he is changing fighting style, blames judging criteria x.com/justthefights/…
This gonna have to hold me down until lunch. Good looks @UpperBodyKarate
@UpperBodyKarate this is facts.
People shit on jiu jitsu until you’re on your back panicking on how to get out just to get tired and tap within seconds lol 🤪
@noremaksnilloc @UpperBodyKarate They don’t know until they know bro
@ItsJustRome_ @UpperBodyKarate I’m always telling folks to come and learn the gentle art. We are just a bunch of nice people who just happen to know the finer arts of leaving you unconscious.
@noremaksnilloc @UpperBodyKarate Bro YES! You gain a different kind of patience
Here’s my “I’ma forever hate these niggas” list 😌
I come out from my Twitter estrangement tonight to share the most magical, opportune photo I have ever taken
@DesertAmazing @bone00afide @KimKimmmmay ethics is built on what you believe, to be true and right. The Gods or lack there of, is part of how people form those. classes in ethics try to pull you out of only using beliefs as a guide but as we all still are human with our bigotries, and ignorance. but it's hard.
@ffyinzer @JakesFFootball It’s frustrating how many TB acronyms there are on that team. I’m thinking you mean Todd Bowles?
If I’m Jodan Poole I’m passing the ball to Draymond every time he’s on the perimeter for the ENTIRE season. He gonna have to face his demons fr.
help i bought all the buy low players and now my team sucks, what do i do next
Wanderlei Silva vs Mark Hunt from PRIDE FC 😍 #MMA #PrideNeverDie
Lord, I see what you’ve done for others.
Eli not holding back 😅 (via the "ManningCast")
I’m starting TNF players in the flex all year. I will document if it ever matters.
Trends for United States
You might like
