Nick Birky @TurtleJesus
I AM BATMAN! also, I like cats. ilinoiz Joined November 2010-
Tweets136
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Followers67
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Following154
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Likes56
Happy Birkday Wiener Boy! @thecandyman222
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Nick Birky retweeted
Dad!... we're outta sandpaper...
Nick Birky retweeted
This Week’s Top Story: onion.com/1IxWO7P
Has anybody ever really gotten salmonella from eating raw chocolate chip cookie dough or are you just trying to stop me from living my life?
@thecandyman222 @betterbirky make sure Ellie knows!
Nick Birky retweeted
There is not a single human being on earth that’s as good at anything as Donald Trump is good at being an asshole.
I like children. If they are properly cooked.
Just saw a cop pull over a Uhaul. Must be trying to bust a move.
This men's restroom really sucks there's no urinals and a bunch of screaming women in it.
Nick Birky retweeted
Bacon wrapped grilled cheese sandwich...
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Nick Birky retweeted
Sir, you need to refresh the page... by @MooseAllain
Remember today that the bridge you drive over was built by the lowest bidder.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Nick Birky retweeted
Retweet this and I'll send you a direwolf.
I surveyed 100 women on what kind of shampoo they prefer to use while showering and 95% said, "How the hell did you get in here?
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