Meme Cow @LocalDude2

Idk, chillin somewhere LA Joined July 2018

Tweets

58
Followers

414
Following

539
Likes

153

thomas violence @thomas_violence

12 years ago

boy: i hate being poor grandpa: were going to fun factory mr chocolate: hello naughty children its murder time

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ceej @ceejoyner

10 years ago

a daycare dad cut me off in the parking lot so I went early yesterday and taught his kid how to ride a bike you can never get that back

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Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams

9 years ago

[blind date] HER: I'm a ghost writer ME {trying not to look too scared}: When did you die?

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mike ginn @shutupmikeginn

12 years ago

barn owls must have been stoked when the barn was invented

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bobby @bobby

9 years ago

somethin kinda neat i found out…if you ignore a problem for long enough, it either goes away or ruins your life. so 50/50. pretty good odds.

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Alita: Battle Angel stan account @punished_picnic

9 years ago

mario, from under the sink: yeah i see the problem, you got living mushrooms and turtles walking around in here. jesus buddy you got multiple castles back here. i’m gonna have to fight a dragon

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huntigula @huntigula

11 years ago

GUY: What does it eat? ME: [falcon perched on shoulder] Updog *falcon starts break dancing* ME: Not yet Tyler, wait until he asks what it is

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mike ginn @shutupmikeginn

13 years ago

My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

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Anna Drezen @annadrezen

8 years ago

I’m a libertarian which means I can only eat books

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chris @BassoonJokes

14 years ago

Autocorrect kept changing Karl Marx to TJ Maxx in my essay about TJ Maxx

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Danny Zuker @DannyZuker

15 years ago

I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face.

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marf @MarfSalvador

9 years ago

[being buried alive] murderer: *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly

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brandAn is good @LeBearGirdle

9 years ago

[Dentist waiting room] Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth- Other patients: teeth, TEETH Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!

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Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau

9 years ago

Hi everyone, welcome to ventriloquist club! The first rule here is do not talk about ventriloquist club…with your lips moving. Haha, just a little joke to get us started. Obviously the first rule is don’t fall in love with your puppet.