Leo 🇺🇸 @Leonchik

@TeamKhabib In Dagestan, we don’t have problems with bears. Bears have problems with us. One time, a bear tried to steal my lunch. I looked at him and said, ‘Brother, if you want food, you must earn it.’ Next thing I know, bear is my sparring partner. True story. We don’t need gyms; we have bears. - Khabib :)

🥋@JoeRogan: “Khabib, what would you do if a bear attacked you?” 🦅 @TeamKhabib : “First, I take him down. Then I talk to him. ‘Why you do this, brother? You make big mistake.’ Then I smash.”

@MAKHACHEVMMA vs @TeamKhabib Islam Makhachev vs Khabib Nurmagomedov Hypothetical Matchup! 🏆 LIVE FROM THE SOLD-OUT DAGESTANI DOME… IT’S TIIIIIIIME! 🗣️ 💥 For the thousands in attendance… 💥 And the millions streaming on UFC+ with sketchy Russian subtitles… 💥 This is the MAIN EVENT of the evening! Sanctioned by absolutely nobody because this fight breaks the MMA laws of physics, friendship, and fraternal loyalty. 🥋 In the red corner: Fighting out of Makhachkala, Dagestan, Russia… A man with wrestling so smothering it’s currently classified as a WMD… The reigning, defending, undisputed UFC Lightweight Champion of the Woooorld… 🥊 IIIIISLAM “THE EAGLET” MAKHACHEEEEEEV!! (He’s calm. Composed. Deadpan. Already has 4% body fat and 0% emotion. Just waiting for Khabib to finish his prayer rug warmup.) 🦅 In the blue corner: Also fighting out of Makhachkala, Dagestan, by way of Mount Olympus… The Undefeated. The Undisputed. The Man who retired before the sport could figure him out... THE GOAT, THE MAULER, THE BEAR-WRESTLING LEGEND HIMSELF... 🥋 KHABIIIIIIIB “THE EAGLE” NURMAGOMEDOOOOOOOV!! (He’s pacing in the cage. Hoodie on. Coaching himself through deep breathing while quietly yelling at Islam for not keeping his chin down.) 🧠 Bruce Buffer gets confused: “WAIT — hold on — Khabib’s ALSO in Islam’s corner?!” Khabib: “Yes. But also fighting. And also coaching. It is... balance.” 🎥 Crowd is going feral: DC’s laughing so hard he can’t breathe. Joe Rogan’s redder than a lobster in a sauna. Dana White is sweating dollar signs and calling Elon to live-stream it on Mars. 🥊 Round 1: Islam feints. Khabib nods, “Good. But now I counter.” They grapple. It’s so technical the ref starts taking notes. The crowd is on their feet. Then on their knees. Then just openly weeping. 🎤 Between Rounds: Islam sits on his stool. Khabib walks over. 🧠 Khabib: “Listen, bro, when you threw that left hook? Perfect. But also, next time, don’t throw it — I saw it coming.” 🧠 Islam: “Do you want me to win, or...?” 🧠 Khabib: “I want us both to win. Like Pokémon.” 🏁 Final Round: They just roll for five minutes straight. Double leg into sweep into triangle into sambo into existential crisis. Bell rings. Both men raise each other’s hands. Bruce Buffer’s brain melts trying to declare a winner. 🏆 Result: WINNER BY DOUBLE EAGLE DECISION: FRIENDSHIP. Because you can’t beat the man who made you — unless you're Goku. 🎬 The crowd chants: “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” Khabib retires. Again. Islam wins. Again. They go eat plov and arm-wrestle on a mountain. Fade to black. Sponsored by Eagle FC, Proper 12, and Chechen goat yogurt. #funny #Joke #comedy

Oh you thought you were in a fight? Nah bro. Welcome to a 25-minute snuggle session with a bear who whispers Islamic prayers into your ear while rearranging your ribcage. 😂😂😂 - @TeamKhabib

Having amazing sushi dinner at #umebuffeteus

Megyn, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have Dr. Robert Lustig on your show. @RobertLustigMD Doctor Lustig has done a number of shows with @CaseyMeansMD and HE IS THE SOLUTION TO OBESITY AND SICKNESS OF THIS COUNTRY! You HAVE NEVER HEARD anyone explain the dangers of Fructose and Sugar better then Dr. Lustig.

@CharlieKNews Yes for Non-Violent people, the likes on which are represented by @AlanDersh. People who were invited in, and peacefully walked the halls of the Capital. No to everyone who used violence.

@TaraBull808 Absolutely not. Canada is what California will become in 10 years. I don't want another California making this country sicker, and guaranteeing that no GOP Candidate will ever win presidential elections in this country. HARD NO!

@BernieSanders I'm a Libertarian who voted for @realDonaldTrump, however I think something needs to be done to our Healthcare system. It's completely unsustainable and unaffordable. I pay $1,000/mo for my Toddler and I, just to have a right to pay more to doctors at the doctor's office.

I'm making a prediction. The first WOMAN PRESIDENT will be nominated by the @GOP and it will be @TulsiGabbard

Community Notes goes hard 😂

@viralvideos @OversightPR @mattgaetz little did anyone know, this is a newly quired DOGE Truck @elonmusk sent in to start Shredding DOJ :)

@DOGE @elonmusk Imagine that one day information comes to light that corruption in the Russian Military was peanuts compared to what is happening in the Pentagon....

@DefiantLs Good thing that she posted this for everyone to see. I would love to see a Donald Trump Supporter, fuck this broad, after telling her that he voted for Harris, and then post about it :)

@DavidSacks @DavidSacks reminds me of the time Radical Left keeps having meltdowns about Trump "NOT WANTING TO LEAVE"... I guess this is yet another example of the left talking about themselves.

youtu.be/Ey0qVzG8_vU?si… The original YouTube video from March 14th, starting at 11:04 where Brandon Biggs Predicts with a Scary Accuracy the Trump Assassination Attempt. I mean, I'm steechless....

@GuntherEagleman @MarioNawfal You stole that from Michael Savage, didn't you? :)

@CraigChamberlin @MarioNawfal @SwipeWright @elonmusk @billmaher and @piersmorgan can relate :)