l @KSimmons1015
Joined July 2009-
Tweets3K
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Followers132
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Following101
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Likes7K
let me know when they got peloton bikes at tj maxx.
The perfect song to get you in the Christmas spirit @StoolBackstage (Via ig:yokickz88) x.com/rakeateener/st…
Sweating profusely, carrying my 3 year old under my arm like a sack of potatoes to the beach, with the other hand holding PB&J and shitty lukewarm canned wine only to finally sit down and my husband say “is that a new bathing suit? You look like Andre the Giant” #marriage
It's #Christmas Eve, so let's do this. RT this and on Dec. 26 we'll choose one RT at random. That person and his or her guest will get a round on No. 2 and #TheCradle on us for Christmas. Good luck.
Hearing my 5 year old tell my 2 year old to “knock it off” is prime dad parenting right there
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It’s crazy that the only way to eat popcorn is to shove as much as you possibly fucking can into your mouth and have just like a ton of it fall all the over you like a real piece of shit but that’s really the only known way to eat it
If you see a women in a hot pink shirt walking around the middle of Sharon and Colony intersection in rush hour... that’s me retrieving a fucking shoe my kid threw out the window
The amount of excitement my five-year-old gets at the fact that my husbands @CoorsLight can still has blue Mountains and is cold makes me so proud @as54294
is there a support group for people whose partner's dishwasher-loading style wildly diverges from yours
When the cats away, the mouse will purge all the OLD FUCKING DIPPING SAUCES IT INSISTS ON HOARDING
how ima be eating when the restaurants open back up. 😌
Yon Promise @promi_yo
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This is the fattest polar bear in Alaska. His name is Fat Albert and he lives in a village named Katovik. He weights over 1,000lbs!
Dilworth Neighborhood Grille owner Matt Wohlfarth says #Panthers owner David Tepper was nice and joking around with employees after the bar's sign poking fun at Tepper's management caught the billionaire's attention. STORY: wcnc.com/article/sports…
Husker Strong shirt is live 100% of net proceeds will be going to a Nebraska tornado relief fund Buy here: store.barstoolsports.com/products/huske…
B5 | Locked & Loaded 😎 Griffin Lockwood-Powell LAUNCHES this ball & the Drillers tack on ✌️ Naturals 1, #Drillers 4
100% of net proceeds will go to helping those effected by the tornados in Nebraska. @_willcompton store.barstoolsports.com/products/huske…
After Friday's win, the Mustangs won a tiebreaker draw with Ardrey Kell. So Myers Park will be the top seed in next week's conference tournament at the Sink. Giddyup. 🐎🐎⚾️⚾️💪💪
HUSKER NATION We will be donating 100% of our net proceeds from our Nebraska sales to a tornado relief fund My heart goes out to everyone affected & now’s the time to rally around our own If you’d like to consider buying a t-shirt to donate, buy here: store.barstoolsports.com/collections/ne…
Please tag a relief fund for the tornadoes in Nebraska A lot of people have lost their homes and however we can rally for those wanting to help out would be great
Mustangs with a come-from-behind 2-1 win over South Meck! Jack Butler with the go-ahead, two-run single! Six strong from Clay Masonis then a save for William Greenway. On to the postseason!
The Nebraska tornado stuff is straight from a horror movie. Insane. @_willcompton already reached out about doing something to help. I'm sure we'll have more info to follow soon.
Your @SoFi Player of the Game is Griffin Lockwood-Powell! Lockwood-Powell crushed a 3-run home run that lead to the Drillers win! SoFi is the all-in-one finance app where you can bank, borrow or invest!
Jamal Murray: “Ugh- what is this? Tap water?”
Lockwood-Powell reduced, reused and recycled that ball over the fence for a 3-run HOMERUN! Naturals 4 #Drillers 6
Florida State University turned on the sprinklers to prevent anti-Semitic protests and this alpha male made sure the sprinkler heads remained uninhibited.
This dickhead. Fucking go man
Baseball, meet Matt Chapman's dog, Harley 🥹 (via @ShaynaRubin)
This is Axel. He is one pothole away from all his dreams coming true. He can feel it. 13/10 we believe in him (IG: igprottie)
Please for the love of god do not use pantyliners that have just been sitting out raw dogging the bathroom air like that