Captain Aham the Magnificent 🥐 @Captain_Aham

Discount Jack Black, Callipygian, and all around jackass Business email: [email protected] linktr.ee/captain_aham Washington, DC Joined October 2012

Tweets

19K
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398
Following

957
Likes

175K

Pokémon Posts @pokemon_psts

13 hours ago

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New York Post @nypost

a day ago

Cop arrested, fired for allegedly pointing gun at fellow officer who microwaved fish at police station trib.al/xTEPEl0

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Captain Aham the Magnificent 🥐 @Captain_Aham

6 hours ago

@DFoundingTitan

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The Vigilant Fox 🦊 @VigilantFox

20 hours ago

Neil deGrasse Tyson: “Whatever [the next outbreak] is, we ain’t ready for it. We still have anti-vaxxers running around.” “I don’t trust scientists. I saw a YouTube video, so I’m not going to take it.” (mocking) “I don’t want you to ever forget this story.” “20,000 years ago, we’re in the cave. Do you know what the life expectancy was?” Shannon Sharpe: “10 years? 15 years?” Neil deGrasse Tyson: “30. Half of everyone born was dead before they were 30.” Shannon Sharpe: “Wow!!!” Neil deGrasse Tyson: “Fast forward to 1840… everyone born in the world was dead by the age of 35. We gained five years of life expectancy. And every one of them ate organic, breathed clean air… Science matters here.” “We’ve doubled the life expectancy with antibiotics, vaccines, and sanitation. The three biggest forces operating on our longevity. So to come around and say I don’t need vaccines because I’m not getting sick, that’s like saying, why are you using dandruff shampoo? You don’t have dandruff.” Shannon Sharpe: “Well, I don’t want to get it.” Neil deGrasse Tyson: “That’s my point. If you’re successful, people think you don’t need it when that’s what’s creating the ongoing success in the first place.”

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MattSketch @MattSketch

18 hours ago

And here we thought the Air Nation was totally wiped out.. 🤦‍♂️

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𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler

2 days ago

The fact that a dog took this photo makes it even more impressive.

cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic

2 days ago

Carrie Fisher shot by Brian Griffin on the set of Return Of The Jedi, 1982

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Captain Aham the Magnificent 🥐 @Captain_Aham

a day ago

@JessicaNigri God, both of them are so real for that

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Jessica ➡️✨AX✨ @JessicaNigri

a day ago

Kratos:

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Avatar Legends: The Fighting Game @avatar_fighters

a day ago

"Yangchen isn't here, I am!" Watch Maximilian Dood on June 4th (Thursday) at 4PM PT (7PM ET) unveil the first public look at the towering force of nature, Kyoshi. twitch.tv/maximilian_dood

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WrestlePurists @WrestlePurists

2 days ago

Mick Foley recalls a phone call from someone high up in WWE after he announced he wouldn’t be associated with the company anymore: “The first [call] was, ‘I respect your stance and I’ll tell the people in charge.’ And then I did receive a call from someone really high up, I don’t know if he wants me to mention his name. But he was saying, ‘Well, Paul [Levesque] is just on the physical fitness group they have. And Linda [McMahon] hasn’t worked in WWE in x amount of years.’ And I said, ‘Well, theoretically that’s the case, but I could’ve sworn I saw Paul behind the president’s shoulder when he was making policy.’ Whether Linda’s been working for the company or not, her last name is McMahon and she’s associated with the company. And then I said, ‘Come on. Five people in the Oval Office took the Stunner.’ And so he appreciated it. He did say he respected it. I didn’t close the door forever. I said in my announcement as long as this man is in office. I think more and more people are realizing that some of the things he’s doing are just cruelty for the sake of cruelty and enriching himself.” (@arielhelwani)

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HokutoNoTism (TAL) @kenshirotism

3 days ago

>LowTierGod represented himself in court >He won. I am baffled.

yoxic @yoxics

3 days ago

LowTierGod represented himself in court today and was awarded a restraining order against his baby mother

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Niggapokemon333 @willsgardevoir

3 days ago

Timeline been full of giant boobs and fatt butts lately

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Roxy Rollins @_RoxyRollins

4 days ago

The match where Ted DiBiase Jr. forgot to kick out. 😬 Cody Rhodes: “Ted Jr. blows by me. No fear. Looks at Vince and says, ‘Where is that referee? He was trying to f** on me!’ And because it was such an awkward, unbelievable moment, and an incorrect use of the F-word, and everything that goes into it, Vince just very slowly put his headset back on, sat down, and we never talked about the worst match that ever happened again.”😭😭😂😂

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Coyote vs. ACME @CoyoteACMEMovie

2 days ago

August 28, 2026 🐰🥕👀

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iza @izamamaa

3 days ago

“nobody coming to save you also implies no one is coming to stop you”

WELCOME TO BLACK TWlTTER  @blacktwiterthrd

3 days ago

nobody coming to save you also implies no one is coming to stop you

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Captain Aham the Magnificent 🥐 @Captain_Aham

2 days ago

@GenePark The Final Fantasy 15 Cup Noodle ad read is still the funniest thing in that game to me. It is so hilariously out of place

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Shpeshal Nick @Shpeshal_Nick

3 days ago

Star Fox is kinda ruining things for indie Star Fox clones like this and Fur Squadron, but this is on Xbox, PC and PlayStation so you should definitely support this on those platforms!!!! This looks great

Balor Games @BalorGamesGG

3 days ago

🚨 IT'S OFFICIAL 🚨 Wild Blue Skies takes off August 13, 2026. Launching on Steam, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X|S Wishlist now, link below! Watch the trailer ⬇️