Emperor Brexit Palpitations @BrexitEmperor
Darth Insidious-No-Deal. Sith Lord. Make the Dark Side great again. Via long blogposts. Likes disruption. Hates paragraphs. London or Barnard’s Star Joined June 2019-
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I have to say I’ve enjoyed my time off regaining my powers so I can once again channel the Dark Side in to my blogposts. 👍
Well it’s been fun making an appearance or two again. Especially since you fools thought I was finished. My plans are much deeper and more cunning. (See my blog for details.)
I know I’ve been quiet of late but a/ there’s a lot of behind the scenes planning for galactic domination you know b/ my blog doesn’t write itself you know (altho it does seem to edit itself) c/ there’s a lot of nice walks in County Durham... d/ it’s all going so well* *=badly
Well this is all going to plan... No Deal is almost inevitable and I’ve been sacked just in time for that useful idiot Johnson to take all the blame. I might even allow myself a little mwah-ha-ha after dinner. Before a stroll around some of County Durham’s woods...
Look Darth. I know orange is the new black and all that but that fat tangerine oaf was always a loser. Resist the temptation of the orange side and re-commit yourself to the dark side. I am your true master.
Look Darth. I know orange is the new black and all that but that fat tangerine oaf was always a loser. Resist the temptation of the orange side and re-commit yourself to the dark side. I am your true master.
Obviously we will still need exhaust ports though... WCGW?
Obviously we will still need exhaust ports though... WCGW?
Well Lord @Darth_Brexit_ ? I suspect you are perhaps pointing out that a Sovereign Senate can break Intergalactic Law...?
Well Lord @Darth_Brexit_ ? I suspect you are perhaps pointing out that a Sovereign Senate can break Intergalactic Law...?
I am bemused by all the concerns about exam results. It all touchingly suggests a naive belief that we live in a meritocracy...
I’m so proud of Priti. She’s taken to fascist populism like a nasty duck to water. Complete natural. PS @Darth_Brexit_ you need to up your game: the Sith Patel’s ‘tour de force’ is a tour de Dark Force...
I’m so proud of Priti. She’s taken to fascist populism like a nasty duck to water. Complete natural. PS @Darth_Brexit_ you need to up your game: the Sith Patel’s ‘tour de force’ is a tour de Dark Force...
Look *I* couldn’t care less really. Firstly because it’s part of my hard “Northern” schtick. Secondly because I’m a “disruptor” who breaks things, you know...? I’m only telling him to make some sympathetic noises bc he keeps bleating about “it ruining his legacy”. Useful idiot.
Look *I* couldn’t care less really. Firstly because it’s part of my hard “Northern” schtick. Secondly because I’m a “disruptor” who breaks things, you know...? I’m only telling him to make some sympathetic noises bc he keeps bleating about “it ruining his legacy”. Useful idiot.
Nobody expects the Clandestine Channel Threat Commander. Our chief weapon is fear. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. Our two weapons are fear and surprise. And ruthless efficiency. Our 3 weapons are fear, surprise and efficiency. And an almost fanatical devotion to PR.
That will teach me to try and say joggers and dog walkers in the same sentence!!! Sorry! 😩xxx
I’m really pleased how well Darth is following my instructions to use a good bit of fascist selective-populism in his comms! If it worked for Mussolini and Goebbels it will work for us... He’s a natural at this.
I’m really pleased how well Darth is following my instructions to use a good bit of fascist selective-populism in his comms! If it worked for Mussolini and Goebbels it will work for us... He’s a natural at this.
Look I will grudgingly admit to being the evil mastermind behind Brexit but I’m damned if I’m having anything to do with that carrot faced moron in America.... ...the Dark Side has standards: I’d have used someone with a little more intelligence as my stooge.
Yes! Let your hatred of the UK flow through me... Turn to the dark side! (For most of you approaching from the south that probably means turning off the A1(M) at Scotch Corner. Follow signs for Barnard Castle.)
Yes! Let your hatred of the UK flow through me... Turn to the dark side! (For most of you approaching from the south that probably means turning off the A1(M) at Scotch Corner. Follow signs for Barnard Castle.)
Well my plans are progressing exactly as I foretold**. Mwah ha ha! (** you can tell this from reading my blogs in which I set out my cunning plans. Channeling the dark side. At no point have I edited them to make it look as if I was a forecasting genius.)
The people who told us we were being ruled over by an unelected elite have now become unelected lords to rule over us. bylinetimes.com/2020/07/31/lor…
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DARTH BREXIT @Darth_Brexit_
4K Followers 684 Following Dark Lord of Brexit. Chair- Empire Research Group. Deal Alterer. Woke Choker. Sunlit Highgrounds. Pro-Mask. Single Dad. Mostly Furious. Parody.Not coming back until you all stop with the Foucaling Foucault puns. Stop it. You hear me? All of you.
I'm not sure what this says about English newspapers - or, indeed, England - but there was *much* more coverage of the Eton teacher sacked for saying very weird stuff about rape than the one just jailed for sexually assaulting pupils.
Now here's someone who knows what he is talking about - he actually runs a big dairy business - and yet George Eustice appears to think he knows better. Once again, ministers who believe Brexit will be good for the economy refuse to let the facts get in the way of the fiction.
@adampayne26 Here is Nick Whelan the Chief Executive of dairy giant Dale Farm giving his assessment which surprisingly Mr Eustice “didn’t accept:”
I don’t understand. I thought England was in lockdown. What was the PM doing not maintaining a social distance with another MP? Have I missed something?
“Covid-19 has unleashed state corruption on a grand scale, and it is harmful to public health." - British Medical Journal. bmj.com/content/371/bm…
@Darth_Brexit_ @BrexitEmperor @StevePeers @gully_burrows But you killed the emperor?
Must say the tension between Dominic Cummings and Carrie Symonds was predicted with scintillating humour and brilliance 9 months ago by @Otto_English in his Daphne du Maurier pastiche “That night I dreamed I went to Chevening again” What Carrie Did Next bylinetimes.com/2020/02/20/wha…
@BrexitEmperor @StevePeers @gully_burrows PLUS YOU CAN CATCH UP AN ALL THOSE EPISODES OF PJ MASKS YOU MISSED. 👍
@Darth_Brexit_ @BrexitEmperor @StevePeers @gully_burrows Getting a strange sense of deja vu here.
@BrexitEmperor @StevePeers @gully_burrows NO, MY FORMER MASTER!! WHEN WE LAST MET (AROUND LUNCH TIME) I WAS THE LEARNER. NOW *I*AM THE MASTER AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE. WOULD SUGGEST YOU RETIRE TO A REMOTE SYSTEM IN THE UNKNOWN REGIONS AND PUT YOUR FEET UP.
CAN CONFIRM THIS.
Trumpism and the UK Tories have so much in common - racism, xenophobia, constant lying, contempt for the rule of law, incompetence - but above all they share the characteristic of being dominated by mafia-like criminal ‘families’. Rampant nepotism, looting and corruption.
I FIND IT MOST PLEASING THAT GENERAL KUENSSBERG, MY IMPERIAL BREXIT COMMS OFFICER, CHOSE NOT TO REPORT THE DIVISIONS AND DISFUNCTION WITHIN NO 10 DESPITE BEING AWARE OF THEM FOR MONTHS. REPORTING ON LABOUR DIVISION FROM 2016-19, HOWEVER, WAS COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED. #DominicGoing
IN RETROSPECT IT WAS ALWAYS INEVITABLE THAT MY MASTER, THE GALACTIC GENIUS AND HYPERFORECASTER, LORD CUMMINGS WOULD MOVE ON TO REACTOR SHAFTS NEW. GOODBYE, MY MASTER. #DominicCummings #DominicGoings
Cummings quits. Immediate effect. Expect plaudits. None here. A miserable self-advancing, self-promoting fantasist. A member of the elite - who has done more damage to this country than any other living person. Good riddance.
I have just been told by a Senior Government Source that a Senior Government Source is leaving the Government. #DominicCummings #DominicGoing
*EVERYTHING* IS BETTER WITH THE IMPERIAL MARCH.
Dominic Cummings leaving Downing Street is much better when set to the Imperial March #DominicGoing
@Darth_Brexit_ Now what will the emperor say about you pimping yourself out to other despotic dictators?
@Danckh UNFORTUNATELY, HE HAS ALREADY SAID IT, COMMANDER BASSMAN.... 😬🙄🙄 x.com/brexitemperor/…
Look Darth. I know orange is the new black and all that but that fat tangerine oaf was always a loser. Resist the temptation of the orange side and re-commit yourself to the dark side. I am your true master.
@Otto_English I am a HT of a primary school. We have been open from March. Stayed open over Easter and May half term. No cases of Covid yet! Planned curriculum to catch up! Full staff attending 100% of chn attending. No back bone though!
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