Most of my successful friends in their 30s are still struggling with modern dating. One of my best friends recently got into a serious relationship and told me his biggest dating unlock came from listening to a podcast with the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge. For most of his life, he's been dating based on what looks good on paper. It makes sense - successful people are naturally drawn to other seemingly successful people. But he made a mental shift a few months ago based on advice from the podcast: date someone based on how they make you feel. The person he's dating now is completely opposite of him in most ways but he feels calm and secure around her and that convinced him to take the leap. As simple as it sounds, this is a really hard thing for successful people to do. Dating based on how someone makes you feel seems arbitrary, random, and unsustainable. Naysayers might say this advice is generic and Freudian at best. Maybe he's subconsciously looking for the unconditional love he received from his mother that gives him security. But I think more people should follow this advice and see where it takes you especially if your current dating criteria just doesn't seem to work.
@kevinleeme I took this advice from my old therapist to date someone completely different from me and contrary to my type. Turns out my social experiment turned into my life partner 🙃 Dating on paper is creates power couples but not always emotionally secure relationships.
@Bosefina @kevinleeme Would love to hear the story! How did you meet?
@Bosefina @kevinleeme That last sentence is a bar 🔥🔥🔥
@Bosefina @kevinleeme This happened to me once and felt almost impossible given the incompatibility. Whenever I’d try this again, it never seemed to work. Now I’m back to “similar”