Lex Luthor @ALRule
mac n cheese and mashed potatoes vyvanse and vibes Wisconsin, USA Joined April 2009-
Tweets22K
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Followers791
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Following865
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Likes58K
always 😈😛
these tarot bitches need to get off my socials “gemini, you’re coming into an unstoppable era” BITCH WHEN?!?! you’ve said this every month for the entire year my gawd
we are getting so close
Happy September 2001! Kids across America and the world are heading back to school.
that 94% humidity really pushing me closer to the edge
@Avery4Heisman_ i’m sorry but not a fucking chance, dawg
Went on a first date and the guy spent 20 minutes explaining why he believes penguins are "technologically advanced but hiding it from us" with genuinely concerning levels of evidence. Had photos on his phone. Charts. A timeline. Said their waddling is "deliberate misdirection"
my uber got hit once and he sped off and followed them and then immediately faked a neck injury when the ambulance came and i was drunk af trying to control my laughter to the hot ems guy
last night my Uber driver got sideswiped by a drunk driver and he asked if I would go to the police station with him as a witness
@natureegloomy okay but the silence when it’s snowing is my favorite
Lex Luthor retweeted
no dating apps for me i prefer to find my men the old fashioned way (hunting them for sport)
eating pizza in the soft glow of my living room lamp. poetic
tough being a party girl and homebody. the fomo usually wins, but maaaaan do i need a weekend to do nothing
Lex Luthor retweeted
One of my favorite adhd games is “did I actually take that pill or did I just think about taking it” where you get to decide if it’ll be worse to have double your dose or none at all
okay so the return of the god forsaken humidity has pushed me to my limit. i am ready for fall. thank u, there will not be any further questions at this time
@Rawritsboog already have my cool aunt status, so yes
have aspirations to go from SINK to DINK at some point in my life
just further solidifies the fact that i am grateful to live in a place with true seasons, cause woof
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