Lawrence T. Bird @twentitled
Chillin' on the roof deck, sippin' a macchiato... God, that coffee machine adds too much sugar. #satire. twitter.com/twitter/team/m… San Francisco Joined June 2012-
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Followers2K
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#1: if they booked the entire AT&T park they could have at least gotten the Giants to play a game for us
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#1: How was there no free Pizza Hut at this tea time?! 🍕
#1: I heard the nap rooms are going to use no name 50-thread count sheets. How am I supposed nap on fucking sandpaper? 😤
#1: ugh what's with all this science? I already do science all day at work
#1: Think I can expense this umbrella? #2: Dream bigger. I expensed my Uber SUV
#1: They should install flood lights outside HQ so it isn't so damned depressing outside at 5pm! #2: UV-lamps, so I can tan on the roof.
#1: If Lorde was doing a show at Benu it'd really simplify my plans tonight
#1: FUCK! the Taskrabbit I hired to camp in front of the twoffice mailroom line cancelled on me!
#1: when I pull to refresh my stocks app twice and $TWTR hasn't gone up I wouldn't mind someone else's shares injected into my account
#1: Oh great, now I need to pay for an accountant...
#1: a secret service dude is blocking my view 😤
#1: wait... the market opens at 9:30am EST??!
#1: Cheer up, losing 10% of 10 boats is still 9 boats.
#1: So sad right now I can barely finish my sashimi.
#1: Kinda upset I didn't hear about Dirty Habit in Tweetbeat.
#1: he's right... the log cabins *would* make excellent massage rooms
#1: what's the go/link to roll my 401k into the sushi bar?
#1: if they close the office they should at least give us a stipend for lunch!
#1: Really hoping that the log cabins are for a sauna + jacuzzi
#1: An open lunch table on a rainy day is worth at least 1 BTC.
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