Andrew Shapiro @shaps911
Chicago, IL Joined June 2011-
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Andrew Shapiro retweeted
USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen. I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify. In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather. "Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully. "Honey, that's what it looks like." The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it." I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it. I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South. It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent. "Well?" the waitress asked. "I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed." "Everybody does, hon." Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it. Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating. I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden. It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.
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@ChefDoomy This actually looks really solid
@EricCrossMLB You think Kyle Harrison can make a push if he keeps this up
@MattPiperJenks @NjTank99 @VivaLaStool @StoolBaseball The Chewbacca wookie sounds are just the icing on the cake for this rant
@Jonnywilso @cole__buxton When are the shoes coming?!?
Andrew Shapiro retweeted
Indiana QB Josh Hoover caught some flack from TCU coach Sonny Dykes for his turnovers. Curt Cignetti had Hoover's back this afternoon: "When Josh got here, he met his two new best friends: Great defense and a really good run game. "And he was never the same after that." #iufb
Andrew Shapiro retweeted
Lamar Wilkerson just surprised his mom on his senior night with a brand new Cadillac 👏 Her reaction was incredible 😂
@Ctiiiii_61 Is there a link for these?
Andrew Shapiro retweeted
Can’t make this stuff up, the first TD of Super Bowl LX is scored by Hoosier alumnus AJ Barner.
@VivaLaStool @RealMikeyBets @FrankTheTankHQ @NjTank99 @MattPiperJenks @barstoolsports Imagine being the guest in the hotel room next to Frank
@TiWindisch certainly feels like Khris is a buyout candidate? 👀👀👀
@NjTank99 Brewers fan over here. What’s your projected stat line for these guys with brewers
The Mets are acquiring Freddy Peralta and Tobias Myers from the Brewers for Jett Williams and Brandon Sproat, per source.
You are a national treasure @KaticMichael #HoosierNation
Talking about Bacon almost made @KaticMichael start crying again
Andrew Shapiro retweeted
I, am also questionable.
Tayton Conerway questionable tonight for #iubb with an ankle injury.
Andrew Shapiro retweeted
The party has just started in Bloomington
@natureboichuck @Nike I’m goin for the tan 001s
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