Bi-Polar_and_so_much_more @polar_so

This is me! I wanted to shout out and wanted to get help. I was a victim of abuse by a paedophile gang and family. Why was no one noticing. Because it was easier to see me smile and put on a brave face. Inside, I was still so unwell. But I smiled and hid it all.

That admission I was taught to smoke...did not do it...told to self harm (had no idea this was a thing) to get attention. I withdrew on benzos & 3 months later back in the wide world. No one had asked, though....why the depression & anxiety...where did it come from. Afraid. Pt 3.

I should have known how vulnerable I would be. First form of assault on a vulnerable patient...me. Kissed forcibly by Student Nurse....ignorantly I thought it was because he cared...actually it was just the start of abuse on top of previous abuse. I felt special Part 2.

The hospital was an old asylum, really set back with some new builds. All I remember is the smell of smoke, shouting, and banging of doors. Being scared in a side room, not knowing what would happen or what treatment was coming. The nurses cared then and the HCAs. PART 1

I honestly thought the psych hospital would have bars on the window. Not the smoky, run down, and not fit for purpose prefab building. No-one asked why a 18 year old had such severe anxiety....if only those early days someone had asked why. Life would have been so much easier 3.

Not a nurse, then! So, I had no idea the harm they would cause. By age 18, I had my first admission to a psych hospital. To withdraw and address my anxiety. I had been seeing a psychiatrist as an outpatient. No one picked up the early warning signs of bipolar.... 2

So it all started at the age of 17, the worst panic attacks, just as I had started work and had my whole life ahead of me. Disabled by anxiety that took over my life. Saw my own GP who didn't help so work sent me to a private GP who issued Benzos. Part 1

Each day, I am going to tell my story as shocking as it is. So it's out there and not forgotten. I wish I could tell my story publicly...maybe one day.

So I always wanted to tell my story. Many years of harm just from being a patient under mental health services. From the 80's to current. So wish the system could change. My story must never be repeated.