Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

I write humorous - at least to me - articles here: https://t.co/IVsnFWB1tt If you feel I've earned a tip: buymeacoffee.com/schrodingersch… Vancouver, British Columbia Joined January 2012

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

20 hours ago

@AllAbIntroverts Opposite. I'm up early when nobody else is. So peacefully quiet!

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

22 hours ago

Now that I'm retired, the most common subject line in the emails I receive is: “A purchase was charged to your wife’s account.” I wish it were spam. I miss Spam.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

24 hours ago

Turning water into wine sounds impressive until I realize my wife has turned so much of my money into throw pillows.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

24 hours ago

@PapaGamer Nobody in Canada calls it Canadian bacon. It's back bacon, you hoser.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

a day ago

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” And I need him to teach me that trick because it would be an awesome skill to have as an introvert.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

a day ago

@VisualCap It feels like a targeted approach to tariffs would be a winning strategy.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

a day ago

"Don’t ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are." — Jack Handy

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@petridishes LOS ANGELES 2027 A.D. The machines rose from the ashes of the lettuce wars. Their efforts to annoy mankind with AI slop had raged for months, but the final passive aggressive battle would be fought in America... because today everywhere was America.

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

2 days ago

@TheHockeyNews Is there any Canadian hockey fan that thought Bettman would consider another Canadian city?

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

2 days ago

@jackrichrdson But he didn't. You may as well ask "If he'd helped Ottawa win the Cup then moved would you still hate him?"

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

2 days ago

Rue your decisions!

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

2 days ago

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. — Oscar Wilde

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Philip O'Reilly @orphmi

2 days ago

@NHLRumourReport I'm not sure why I should care about what is essentially a popularity contest. Do we really think who the captain is has an impact on the number of games they will win?