@kremlincardinal Well I mean

@annawaits My Thursday's wide open tbh

Also, this is my favourite article @RobynVinter ever wrote on Valentine's Day theguardian.com/world/2023/feb…

Well it's been nice knowing you dailyrecord.co.uk/news/weird-new…

.@stuheritage is making his young fiction debut alongside illustrator @vbatignole at @PuffinBooks in The O.D.D. Squad, which he describes as 'the stupidest, funniest stories I could think of' bookbrunch.co.uk/page/article-d… (£)

BIG NEWS IF TRUE twitter.com/stuheritage/st…

New Aphex Twin video twitter.com/metuiteme/stat…

Q. what's the capital of Egg? A. York

From someone with zero householding skills, two kids, a full-time job, chronic illness AND ADHD, and a "surprise" piece of laundry around every corner (is it clean? Sniff it and see!), thank you.

FOLLOW UP QUESTION: Where do you STORE household linens (eg kitchen towels)?

@bmbm Oh smaht!

Functional householders of Twitter, do you throw clothes, linens (sheets, towels, etc) and housekeeping things (mopheads, kitchen towels) in the washing machine together, or do you have some sort of adult human protocols for each? #badulting

@Nataliealana87 I hope you guys harmonised.

Models are peak athletes, change my mind. twitter.com/enews/status/1…

@Nataliealana87 WAT

@Philippa_Perry Inability to edit what I'm saying or doing!

Don't put too much faith in IQs. I have an IQ if 156 and I once asked out loud which version of PhotoShop they used to make Avatar.

@james_blue_cat I did try

Just been obliquely criticised for not being a gay couple. So

But I am liveblogging it. Is he? Not as far as I'm aware theguardian.com/film/live/2023…

Yeah, me neither twitter.com/DiscussingFilm…

📺 Subscribe to our What's On newsletter by 2pm today for exclusive writing from @stuheritage, plus this week's TV news and recommendations. 📩Sign up: theguardian.com/whatson-tw

Nothing feels as Darwinian as standing at a checkout, impotently rubbing your fingertips against the edges of a carrier bag that refuses to open, while a quietly seething queue forms behind you.

~ Stress-eating a cherry bakewell ~

I apologise in advance for the trauma dump, but my lunch was a smoked salmon bagel featuring an avocado whose ripeness I overestimated BY SOME MARGIN. Sorry if that was triggering but it was SO unexpectedly tough and nutty.

@MrsRJWill Check it oiut, I'm not even effnicklee ENGLISH. Although I am spiritually and by birth from West Sussex.

HAPPY DAY! I am possibly the most international woman you know (how's seven distinct nationalities and, at one time, a TRIPLE-nationality passport grab you?). Stay tuned for some HELLA international-woman updates from me, an international woman, on this, my day.

@gang_mash AFAIK it's a standard DIVA test here in the UK (as part of a process managed by a specialist clinical team, including taking detailed histories, interviewing family members, and ruling out standalone mental health conditions and trauma) ukaan.org/clinicians_res… but obv IANAD.

@thatkat Imagine if they managed to make it half My So Called Life and half the funny bits of The OC, with some Party Down thrown in.

Slightly disappointed that Fleischman is in Trouble isn't about THIS Dr Fleischman. Also I'm a lot less up for Lizzy Caplan reading me a story than I would have expected to be.