I think i have great grasp of subaru state of mind for most of the scenes, but this one i am still not sure what is happening,obviously he doesn't mean it literally but i do want to know the thought process which led him to say it. This is Anime only dialogue btw was not in LN.
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@PRockbud If you look at the context of his backstory from the trials in S2, everyone leaves him behind if he’s not doing the best he can. He feels like if Emilia isn’t hopeless, then there’s no reason for him to be there. He cares about her and he thinks if he isn’t doing everything he +
@PRockbud can for her, then she’ll leave him behind too. After their fight in episode 13, this probably triggered some of his memories from his childhood