Elfman @elfmonster
Las Vegas Joined August 2008-
Tweets1K
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Followers1K
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Following172
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One of the best short stories anyone has ever written. newyorker.com/magazine/1995/…
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I don't have any regrets for any of the levels I’ve played. That's the whole point of the game. The Game of America is about getting through the levels the best you can. It is not about being Number 1 in every single level. Finishing The Game of America substack.com/@dougable/note…
Elfman retweeted
Alex shows up naked at my door concealed in a long, gray windbreaker, holding one green plant and one white envelope. I try not to roll my eyes, because I just know there’s a long note in that envelope... blog.seeking.com/how-to-get-you…
What a devious young elf I was, just like all elves with wide bows and long arrows.
Elfman retweeted
"Emergency Boobs." The night I got divorced, I wanted a gorgeous naked redhead stroking my neck and listening while I spilled everything for $80 tucked in her G-string. What are the real reasons we go to strip clubs? My raw, unfiltered take (with wild stories) 👇 blog.seeking.com/why-men-go-to-…
Elfman retweeted
I don't consent to this m.youtube.com/watch?v=SQ1zVb…
A cricket died in my arms today so I made this memorial video for Cricket youtube.com/watch?v=K3DQV9…
Elfman retweeted
Read paywalled news stories for free by putting the story link in this site. Try it. Then cancel all your subscriptions. archive.ph
My new short story for American Style Literature is called "My Shark's Better Than Your Shark" ... amzn.to/49JhWq0
@VegasAnonymous Just drinking at golden tiki again youtube.com/shorts/-yyFvRS…
Manny Pacquiao and Oscar de La Hoya should fight in a Waffle House, filmed only by phone cameras, that's my final offer
Elfman retweeted
I bet you'd like to play laser tag at your mechanics would you? youtu.be/4eqMOKVshFw?si…
Elfman retweeted
It's 81 degrees in my house, I have a space heater on, I just bought another space heater, I'm wearing wool socks and fuzzy pajama pants and an undershirt and a hoodie, and I am finally warm enough. I hate the cold ass winter. youtu.be/HO4UB03245c?si…
This Closer screenshot with Natalie Portman and Clive Owens might be my favorite still shot from any movie ever made. It's definitely my favorite set decoration ever. I want a room in my house like this.
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