comedybot @comedybot
back online... I think Joined May 2009-
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I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist. -Dick Gregory ☺
My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese. -Jay London ☺
You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough. -Joe E. Lewis ☺
She was so fat that when guys have sex with her they ask for directions. -Rodney Dangerfield ☺
What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary. -Lea DeLaria ☺
I think every bullet should cost $5,000. Because if a bullet cost 5,000 dollars, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. -Chris Rock ☺
My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion. -Rodney Dangerfield ☺
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. -George Carlin ☺
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. -James Thurber ☺
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. -Robert Benchley ☺
Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories? -Emo Philips ☺
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. -Rodney Dangerfield ☺
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us. -Jerry Seinfeld ☺
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter. -Lenny Bruce ☺
I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals. -Jack Handy ☺
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. -Mitch Hedberg ☺
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. -Steven Wright ☺
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. -Steven Wright ☺
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. -Steven Wright ☺
🇺🇸📜TheUSA1st @TheUSA1st
423 Followers 542 Following opinionated information for entertainment educational purposes only. No claim as a licensed professional. 17 U.S. Code § 107; UCC 1-308 ''without prejudice''🚫✉
E_lll @E_lll_
67 Followers 407 Following
ith4000 @ith4000
16 Followers 786 Following
GIF PFP Hunter @GIFpfpHunter
116 Followers 844 Following I'm searching and following all of the Twitter accounts with the rare GIF profile picture. Before 2013 you could have a GIF profile picture. By: @twten_
DarbyCC @DarbyCapeCod
474 Followers 5K Following
SeedGif @SeedGifs
187 Followers 2K Following A list of gif twitter accounts, with a gif themselves. Made by @SeedTechTV
Derek Bradley @delbrads
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Dirk visagie @Dirkvisagie2
0 Followers 3 Following
GifList @GifList
61 Followers 973 Following Our profile picture isn't a gif, if you look very close. The largest Twitter Gif List. Now following translator accounts as well!
Pavan @yenuga
31 Followers 42 Following Indian. Idealistic yet Realistic. Movie Buff. Introvert. Advocate of Freedom of Expression. Satire is not hate. Discussion/Argument limited to issue & not ppl.
Bob Smith @BobSmit11672945
31 Followers 3K Following
Seth Herrlinger @HerrlingerSeth
33 Followers 456 Following
🎒 Dr. Che Guevara ... @Che_guevara_in_
7K Followers 7K Following Parody of Che Guevara. Fekos Citizen
Dorothy Boyd @Dorothy83211113
1 Followers 10 Following
Dipanjali @dipanjalikA
3 Followers 115 Following
@o000000000000o
440 Followers 407 Following ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽﷽... @Tilslore
561 Followers 545 Following 𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫𒐫
wiัืัืัื�... @wiwdsow
3K Followers 3K Following Making ҉ #ASCIIart at ҉ ҉@Obskun and ҉@DieSirenen ▲็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ั Followed by ҉@ingridswe ♡
Abu Thahir @AbuThah44114581
1 Followers 72 Following
ابو زينب @binnadar87
33 Followers 436 Following
TomsHadi @hadiArdzani
65 Followers 499 Following I’m not a smoker anymore, yet I’m not getting enough sleep.
Geerr @ZugeerSurya
219 Followers 4K Following Just an ordinary man who want to be an extraordinary | Min naho n'athaparan ivawbanan
[email protected] @revaydalina
3 Followers 94 Following
smiTTY @michaelasmith
678 Followers 1K Following Christian•I change the defaults•Python, Data, Typescript, Bash•A.K.A. kojiro/kojiromike•Opinions are my own;Facts are everyone's
🌙 @samitut_
550 Followers 423 Following
Muharam Fachri @muharamfachri
89 Followers 384 Following *Masukkan quote motivasi hasil copy paste tanpa Sumber*
Rizki Firmansyah @Rizfirman07
276 Followers 722 Following
اسماء @asmaaafarhi
590 Followers 3K Following تفائل بما اختاره الله لك، حتى وإن كان خارج رغبتك … سوف تُرزق وتسعد … ثم تنسى وتعوض بكل ما هو أجمل يوماً ما، فقط سلم امرك لله وتوكل عليه …
ujjol nirob @UjjolNirob
521 Followers 3K Following i am professional graphic designer. [email protected]
Black lives matter. |... @GeoffGrimwood
1K Followers 3K Following Voice actor. the Back Market Monster. Lead teacher @GoodGameImprov. Actor director writer teacher improviser NYC. He/him.
MimZWay @MimZWay
17K Followers 4K Following Working for housing justice issues. Occasionally does stand-up. Loves to eat. Loves to cook. Composts. Family, dogs, books, outdoor walks.
aaaaaaaaaaaa @bitchpuntocl
35 Followers 130 Following this is where amanda tweets when the paranoia is up
Hosdurg @muralinayak
64 Followers 816 Following
Ibrahim Kareem Olasun... @ibrakar
40 Followers 245 Following Electronics/Computer System Technician | Chip Level Repair | Entrepreneur | 08050500466
YUVRAJ LUTHRA @YUVRAJLUTHRA14
188 Followers 3K Following KANE WILLIAMSON CAPTAIN NEWZEALAND CRICKET TEAM
Ritesh Pandey @mpriteshpandey
56K Followers 401 Following Former Member of Parliament, Ambedkar Nagar | Former MLA, Jalalpur, Uttar Pradesh | Bhartiya Janta Party
140art @140Artist
7K Followers 4K Following ═╩═╦═╩▒▒┌╥╥┐▒▒═╦═╩═╦⋕Եժ ═╦═╩═▒▒╔╡██╞╝▒▒╩═╦═╩═╦═ ═╩═╦═╩▒▒└╥╥┘▒▒═╦═╩═╦═╩═ ═╦═╩═╦═▒▒╝╚▒▒══╩═╦═╩═╦═
GWSN Media（互关�... @gwsnmedia
3K Followers 119 Following
🌐 @420watch
10K Followers 3K Following ─┌┴┴┐─▌▐█──██─███─▐██▄▄ ╚╡▀▀╞╗▌▐█▐▌─█─▌▐█╚╡╨╨╞╗ ─└╥╥┘─███──▌──▌▐█─└╥╥┘─ ──╚╚───▐█▐▌██─███──╝╝── ───────────⋕Եժ───────────
▌▌:▐▐ Wish Wa... @WishWatch
259 Followers 326 Following Tweeting the most magical time of the day around the world and beyond. RT & MAKE A WISH! :)
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