Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

I get roasted by kids for a living Joined August 2019

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

5 years ago

*watching a colonial reenactment* student 1: “wait how did they have cameras back then??” me: “buddy it’s a reenactment” student 2: “I wish I was in a reenactment, it looks like fun!! Wait never mind I’m black so I would probably get a not fun part because, ya know, slavery”

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

6 years ago

like damn I was ugly too but I kept my mouth shut

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

6 years ago

I don't ever want to hear "wow you look rough today" like okay christian all of 14 looks rough for you??

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

6 years ago

tbh it baffles me that students are mean to teachers like you do realize we have access to your terrible ID pics right

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

6 years ago

*shares that my 5th grade band teacher told me I was bad at playing the trumpet* ~10 minutes later responding to a discussion prompt~ me: "I guess I'd have to say I'm pretty bad at basketball" student: *breaks 20 minute silence by turning on microphone* "well and also trumpet"

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

6 years ago

E-learning seems great until you get an email from a kid asking you if he has any missing work from any of his classes because he’s “not really sure” if he did everything because he “hasn’t really been reading the directions”. On day 5 of E-learning.

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

boy to group of girls: “can you stop speaking Spanish??” me: “um excuse me don’t ever ask someone to not speak their language” boy: “but they’re talking about me!!” me: “well maybe you should learn Spanish”

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

student: put the foes up *makes weird hand gesture* me: what does that even mean student: to be honest I’m not really sure

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

“If you don’t get to work I’ll make you all listen to my 2019 wrapped” is officially my new favorite teacher threat

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

Also taking bets on how many of them will say, “I didn’t think we’d be doing anything today” when I ask them why it’s not charged

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

now taking bets on how many students won’t have their computers charged even though they’ve had 2 WHOLE WEEKS TO CHARGE IT

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

best part about being a teacher around Christmas is getting to say “and none for Gretchen Wieners” after handing out all the candy cane grams worst part is your students having no idea what you’re talking about

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

student: what do you want for Christmas?? me: oh you don’t have to get me anything!! student: I wasn’t going to, I just figured you were going to say something dorky and we would all laugh at you me: ... them: ... me: *whispers* I could use a new laundry basket

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

*kid walks by blasting rap music* “Ugh kids today will never know good music” -me, as I listen to Rack City while grading papers

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

student: *comes running into my room* me: woah what's up student: I saw a trash can get hit by a car this morning so I wanted to make sure you were okay me: get out of my room

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

student: what are you gonna be for Halloween? me: your gpa student: I don’t get it me: yeah that’s why it’s scary

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

me: okay so we're gonna be watching some School House Rock student: ugh yes I love Jack Black me: um no that's School of Rock student 2: yeah this is the one with Demi Lovato me: I have some very disappointing news for all of you

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

me: hey can you help me sort this Monopoly money? student, very satisfied with himself and his self-proclaimed racial wokeness: I would but I don’t see color 😎 me: yeah that’s the fun thing about money, it has numbers on it

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Awkward Teacher @awkteacher

7 years ago

“Miss C we’re gonna find you a man” “uh that’s okay I’m pretty happy with my life” “...really? you seem sad” “what no I’m fine!! plus I don’t need to have a boyfriend to be happy thank you” “that sounds like something a sad person would say”