When I was first told I'm autistic 5 years ago, I was miserable wondering why I was so broken. I was on the phone crying hard while drunk asking, "Why is everything so easy for everyone else but so hard for me?" That's when I was told I'm autistic. I didn't know anything about autism, so I went and watched a bunch of YouTube videos about autism in women. While watching them, I yelled out, "Wow! Me and this woman are the same person! That's me! That's exactly what I'm like!" It was like a lightbulb went off and I started making sense to myself. I struggled so long and I knew nothing about my real autistic self, so I was desperate to find someone to help me. So I got on the phone and called every professional who listed autism as their speciality. My gov marketplace insurance wouldn't cover it, so I'd have to pay out of pocket, but I was poor. I was desperate for help though. 40 psychologists, therapists, psychiatrists, autism centers within a 50 mile radius later, I got verbatim from every single one, "Sorry, we don't work with adults, only kids." Even the autism centers told me no because I was too old for their help (I was 35). Frustrated because everything was built for just children, I was left to figure everything out on my own. It was deeply frustrating. 8 months after I learned I'm autistic, I realized how terrible I am at masking, and that everyone else knew something was "wrong" with me, but no one knew a name for it. So I gave up masking and decided to own it. That's when I started the autism blog The Autistic Innovator. A little under a year later it became the store for autistic adults. It was a 5 year process to get to where I'm at now. To where I can be targeted and brutally trolled by so many and it literally not affect me. I still maintain my stance that an autism certification (professional diagnosis) would be pointless for me, and I'm sure every doctor would agree. I'm very comfortable with me being autistic. I wear my store shirts proudly out in public every time I leave my apartment. Today I went on a morning adventure with my "Autistic AF" t-shirt on. Nothing, and no one, can change the fact that I am autistic, and absolutely no one can make me doubt that. Thanks for reading this far down. ❤️
@autisticinnovat Who told you that you were autistic? I like them! Sometimes we just need that affirmation from someone to start the journey.
@ssartmom My dad told me. He had a conversation with my aunt and she told him she’s suspected I’m autistic since I was 8 years old but never said anything. She’s got a PhD in special education and has taught autistic kids for 40+ years. If it weren’t for her, I never would have known.
@autisticinnovat @ssartmom Honestly.... It sounds like she let you dou pretty hard if she waited until you were desperate in your 30s to bother to mention she had used her expertise to diagnose you but never offered you any tools??
@autisticinnovat @ssartmom At least you had someone that knew what they were talking about. I cope better now sort of but when I was younger and having my ‘meltdowns’ and my family were discussing me behind my back. My dad diagnosed me with bipolar and I did spend a lot of time trying to see if that fit.
@autisticinnovat Bless her. I think sometimes people are afraid to say it. And sometimes we aren’t ready to hear it but when it connects, it’s a life saver.