JaZYN Kelce @Tomfuckeries
“drive fast and leave a sexy corpse”, 2x kidney stone survivor, and Oxford Comma Bad Boy. Your mom Joined September 2011-
Tweets13K
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Followers275
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Following308
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Likes42K
He look like he bout to get sucked up a tube at a crazed man’s chocolate factory
He look like he bout to get sucked up a tube at a crazed man’s chocolate factory
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Ur in her dm’s, she’s accidentally kicking my lamp. We not the same.
My boss knows when the sweater comes off and my headphones go in, I’m bout to drop a football in the handicap.
Im tryna be a good employee but chat gpt is buffering when I ask it to do my work.
Woulda been something if all the cicadas came out at the moment of totality
Me: i have a kidney stone Nurse: looks like appendicitis Me: it’s a kidney stone Dr: what’s going on? Looks like appendicitis Me: it’s a kidney stone Dr: idk let’s ask the MRI MRI: it’s a kidney stone Dr: that’ll be $5000
FYI I saw the eclipse I just didn’t post about cuz I like to live in the moment.
The earthquake hit during my sons- err daughter’s circumcision
https://t.co/0iWz7ZHK2j
Whatever talk to me when he drops abs, all tc and that racing line.
Whatever talk to me when he drops abs, all tc and that racing line.
JaZYN Kelce retweeted
have you heard the good news?
TowBoatUS seeing the scene in Baltimore
Experiencing my own 9/11 (Using the bathroom of an Indian restaurant during a Hindu holiday)
Sidewalk Slammer but it’s a 6mg zyn in a 5-Hour Energy
JaZYN Kelce retweeted
Former Giants RB Saquon Barkley reached agreement with the Philadelphia Eagles on a three-year, $37.75 million contract that could be worth up to $46.75M and includes $26M fully guaranteed at signing, per sources. Barkley now beats the franchise tag number and has a maximum…
Claire 😳 @ClaireP1871
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449K Followers 831 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Put a little Zyn spit on my 56° and immediately chipped in after. You do the math, liberal.
Bang. Called it. Link in bio graphy
any beer company brave enough to put grooves in the neck of their bottles that shoots beer down your throat will automatically be dubbed The Beer of The Summer
@willdefries Can you imagine the power a Modelo with a vortex neck would have? I don’t think the world is ready
You were saying?
@nevalost7 @FreddyOnFoster @chestnuthillave @jaaar85321 Legette isn’t going first round. Get off your high horse.
There's a horse called Liberal Arts that may run the Kentucky Derby. The horse cost $400k to buy and has earned $22k
One of the best tweets of all time full stop
how I act when my old fashioned has one big ass square ice cube in it
a medieval torture rack probably felt sooooooo good until ya know it didn’t
Chicago’s No. 1 overall pick Caleb Williams broke the Fanatics record for draft night merchandise sales for any draft pick in any sport, beating the previous record set last week by Caitlin Clark.
If you have a hard time watching the 1st video you should fully support the 2nd--
You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
Me at McDonald’s, age 4
Not 1 thing wrong with flipping the hat back at Chipotle with the boys after 18 holes. Encouraged even
Xavier Legette pulling up to Charlotte
😂😂😂 Go Birds 🦅
Hearing he’s deadly accurate from long range
Brett getting a ‘gram off
Man on building at 6th and H throwing bricks down at MPD officers in Chinatown DC. @alanhenney
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