TimDrake117 @TimDrake117
yes. Toronto, Ontario. Joined October 2020-
Tweets147
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Followers5
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Following25
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Likes2
Just found out that short people get paid less on average. They need to rise up. #Capitalism
I don't know anyone who advertises that they adventure in caves. It's a very underground activity.
Think about it, when was the last time you found Waldo? He could be anywhere by now.
My doctor said my blood work shows I'm eating too much shrimp, which is weird because I'm allergic to doctors.
I don't want to alarm anyone, but it looks like the Olympics are in Paris this year, amongst the Fr*nch.
All my toes have hair except for my pinky toes. I wonder if that's a sign.
Similar to being flabbergasted, being flubbergasted is when you're amazed at Robin Williams'performance as a mad scientist.
What if cowboy boots had those little toe compartments where you can see each toe? I think we've found the new fashion trend for the summer. #cowboy
Is it really a pot-hole if you can't cook pasta in it? #makesyouthink
Word of advice: don't waste your time, that walrus won't be able to read a map no matter what you do.
Finally spring is here! Time to plant my radishes.
Spring water doesn't even make me jump higher, this is bullshit. #falseadvertising
Honestly I'm all for child labour, I mean do we really expect women to just give birth to fully grown adults? That's crazy talk.
I have fourteen cousins named Jordan. We call them the Jorteen side of the family.
@HeyIts_Luke Hey not sure if you know but you shouldn't advertise your bowel movements like that, people will find your schedule and then strike when you least expect it. Happened to me once.
So it turns out I've been saying "for all in tents and porpoises" wrong and people waited until now to correct me.
I recently added a golden lab to my household, in which I perform my golden experiments.
I always pay in full whenever I get an exorcism performed, because I'm worried that if I go into debt on it they'll come back and repossess my house.
A wise man once said, "How are dogs and trees the same? Neither of them file taxes."
This time of year has given me an idea.... repurpose tinsel to be mirrors for snakes. Now taking investors. #BusinessProposal
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