When people say “you were such a good kid growing up” it means “you expressed no needs and did as you were told”. A lot of the ‘good kids’ were anxious kids. The sensitive kids who could sense the frustration of the adults in their lives whenever they expressed their needs.
So this is a reminder for parents to check on their ‘good kids’. Chances are they learned to stay quiet about their needs. Sensitive and even tempered children will shape themselves in whoever you want them to be. This is their way of coping.
@ThisisYolandaR I always felt when I’d hear parents say that to kids in front of me that it was lowkey shade because I was a bad kid and they comparing them to me .
@ThisisYolandaR @nana2venus Or, I don’t know, maybe they were good kids. I was a good kid growing up so don’t speak for me. I learned to follow rules, respect my elders and siblings, be kind to people, learn from mistakes. I was told I was a good kid because I WAS a good kid and now, I’m a good man.
@ThisisYolandaR God, we all carry it with us, how we were and how we behaved and there’s no perfect way to be or raise a kid. Do the best you can, come to terms with what happened if you can. But always with mercy. Children are children. Things change x
@ThisisYolandaR OR you could have been a good kid. Not getting into dumb shyt (at least not getting caught). Respectful. Active in your community. Athlete and a scholar. Ya know, a good kid. WTF?
@ThisisYolandaR Well dang, come and drag me while you’re at it 😂
@ThisisYolandaR @cloniragire You have done therapy for me, an answer to so grown up well raised kids who never stop bullying me and others that we well not raised well, oh my goodness. Saving this for the community 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
@ThisisYolandaR I'm reading this book right now trying to heal from childhood trauma. It's called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD it's been helpful during this time in my life.
@ThisisYolandaR @cj_parslow Partially describes my childhood. Always received top marks for my conduct & behaviour in school when in reality l was really a recluse, sitting alone having lunch and at other breaks.