The Apollo System @SystemApollo

Me: god why do we have such a huge headache? Is it the rough switching? The not wearing our glasses or- Me: *opens fridge to see a half finished can of V energy drink that someone drank earlier in the day* Me: oh, yeah that'll do it.

The biggest travesty of the DID/OSDD world was Onno Van Der Hart convincing the world that his research, based on clients he was abusing, was the "real" reason we're plural. Please read the whole thread before commenting or assuming.

Normalise saying, "I don't have the mental and emotional capacity to hold a conversation right now" without people taking offense.

Them: disabled people can't be sexy. Me: ok, I won't.

Am I sleep deprived? No. Do I feel like I am? Absolutely.

Wait hang on, how the hell have I managed to read 7-8 articles and two pages in 2 days, how am I functional???

The problem with having read like 7-8 articles in two days is /I dont remember which one i read that gave me this tidbit of information/ and /they're all 15-35 pages so i cant skim read each to find said information/

Ah yes, the unbridled chaos of someone who has a 2000 word essay due in (checks calendar) three days, and hasnt started writing it yet

A small affirmation for systems: It’s ok for you, both collectively and individually, to just exist. It’s ok to not know things, and to not have meaning to your existence. (1/14, talking about pressure to know, have meaning, & analyze) #didosdd #dissociativeidentitydisorder

I remember distinctly thinking that the voice shit talking me was like, me @ myself,,,, now I know it was an alter being a lil shit, but still like I just thought I was having bants with myself,,,,,

We had an incredibly stressful day today, and I'm so ready for bed. Gonna deal with it tomorrow cos it's a lot and I'm exhausted so I'm posting this so hopefully we dont forget to write it down tomorrow

Discovering who you are in moments of blurryness is hard. It can also come with a lot of doubt while trying to break out of the blur - “Am I sure I am X person? Is Y person really co-con right now? Did I interpret everything correctly?” #dissociativeidentitydisorder #didosdd

Me just completing a simple task : okay time to more onto the next, equally simple task Brain : huh, no, take break Me : no, cos this is a cause of our stress and if we get it done we'll be in a better frame of mind Brain : this is ovERLOAD time to dissociate Me : hey wai-

I know it's too early to really understand but it's frustrating that we haven't even had the chance to calm down, to destress, and to find ourselves.

Where do I begin and they end? If all this that we love is a culmination of our interests, what are my interests? Do we share them? Or do we have our own interests? How do we find ourselves amongst this?

It's weird trying to define the line between myself, and ourselves. Am I genderfluid or are other alters of varying genders just close by? Am I interested in this hobby that we built our identity around when we though we were singular, or is it just that alter?

It took me an hour to watch a 25 minute lecture,,,, BUT I do understand the content and that's what matters

The Apollo System @SystemApollo

6 years ago

DID and ADHD is fully watching the same lecture recording four times before finally watching five minutes, stopping, stating out loud what was just discussed, then moving on to the next five minutes till you think you finally understand it. And even then you probably missed stuff

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DID and ADHD is fully watching the same lecture recording four times before finally watching five minutes, stopping, stating out loud what was just discussed, then moving on to the next five minutes till you think you finally understand it. And even then you probably missed stuff

Still tryna contact a therapist with the quarantine going down so we can have someone external to talk too about all this

Its hard dealing with the fact that our inner world requires active concentration, even though we have an alter who's job it is to run it, its still not passive. It still feels like we all stop when we arent fronting and it's hard not feeling like we're faking smh