S.A.M @StormlightSimp

I have no idea what's going on anymore any pronouns Joined February 2021

Tweets

5K
Followers

112
Following

462
Likes

37K

S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 weeks ago

And then those people always asking for "rare steak". Like they think we've got some ultra-rare special holographic cow meat we're just hiding from them. Sorry lady, there's just the one kind. Fucking ridiculous man.

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 weeks ago

Steak eaters so impossible to please. "Ummm, I don't like this. This is too well-done." Okay?? My bad for doing too good a job. I'll make sure it's poorly-done for you next time... 🙄

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

@frostbyte4free I didn't even notice it the first time but the truth social format is really the cherry on top of this

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

Personally gotta go oppurtunistic omnivore. Primarily vegetation but perhaps occasional carrion or insects as a treat. I could also see myself doing well in a decomposer role.

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

If you're an animal, which kind of animal would you be?

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

Should I put in a work order about the demons?

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

AND the demons! I can't believe I didn't notice them at first. This apartment sure is loud sometimes.

S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

The dogs sound like men and they're both howling

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

I'm proud of myself because I filed my taxes!! Did YOU file YOUR taxes? (Pauses to look at USA followers through the screen like a children's show host)

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

2 months ago

The dogs sound like men and they're both howling

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

god, you take TWO sips of month-old milk and all the sudden it's "debilitating pain". 🙄 digestive organs these days. won't let you get away with anything anymore.

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

@entryno17 #addictedtotheshindig

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

oil

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

@frostbyte4free valid + we're all rooting for you 🩵

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

@Bug__Lady__ That sounds delicious

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

@meowimg This is beautiful

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

@frostbyte4free Thank you Frostbyte Freeman, you see exactly what I was going for

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

3 months ago

The Taco Bell employee descending from heaven with a Baja Blast Midnight for my coworker and I after we survived the 86 degree sun, breathed in wildfire smoke, avoided being hit by cars, and (my coworker) got bit by ants

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

4 months ago

It's a tough question, you can take your time

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

4 months ago

If a genie showed up and gave you three (3) wishes... How many wishes would you have?

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S.A.M @StormlightSimp

4 months ago

@gracerstudios I love that dress for Vin. The puff sleeves and soft pastel blue fit the character so well. I imagine her outfits much the same. It's beautiful. ❤️