Scott Hoad @ScottHoad
I've been lapped by the Joneses. Nor-Westerly Joined November 2009-
Tweets76K
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Followers3K
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Following990
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Likes16K
You’ve got 7 days grace after the World Cup has ended to display an England flag in your front window and then you’re a racist; like keeping birthday cards on display a week after the day like some kind of weirdo who celebrates Christmas every day of the year.
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If you turn the sound off whilst watching a World Cup game between two teams you’re completely indifferent about you’ll start reading books again.
Dick Advocaat, what a brilliant name for cum. #curacao
I’m mildly amused by the fact that I often find myself saying ‘shut up’ when I shut down my laptop.
I’m old enough to remember when… no it’s gone; sorry
I gave my mum a selection of Star Wars masks for her 79th birthday, you should’ve seen the Luke on her face.
I’m useless at relationships and algebra; if you want to know Y, just ask my X.
I adore the works of Tolkien but I still think ‘Legolas’ sounds like something a Yorkshireman might say to his wife when struggling to get the remote control out of her hand.
Imagine the panic you’d cause on a Jamaican cruise ship if your name was Mandy Lifeboats.
There are no hard and fast rules when having sex, some people just prefer it that way.
I’m not a conversationalist, some of my best friends are talkative.
The River on.soundcloud.com/7QFrGpKp1sXgjh…
Never gets old on.soundcloud.com/dZUPi39JjJDagf…
Being in love is like wearing a bulletproof vest. Look out for the headshot, though.
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