Sam Markson @SamiamMarkson
I am Sam Sam I am Movies are kinda cool ig idk He/Him Joined January 2022-
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I want chow mien. From one of those cute little to go boxes.
Pro tip 20: Solar eclipse glasses are infinitely cooler than normal sunglasses. Wear them all the time, especially while driving.
Pro tip 19: Eat raw chicken to develop salmonella. Thank me later.
Pro tip 18: If you’re rich, just park in handicapped parking spots all the time and pay the fine. You’ll be closer to where you need to be for a small price of $250 minimum.
I’m upset cause no one congratulated me for beating teenage pregnancy when I turned 20. >:(
Pro tip 17: If you're feeling antisocial, don't shower.
This some Wonka ass shit…
*doctors five years from now* Doc: Alexa, turn off grandma's life support. Alexa: Okay. *beeeeeeeeeeeep*
Being and looking Jewish is the greatest. Some people stopped me on campus asking if I wanted to do a bible study. I played the classic “I’m Jewish” card. The look on their face said it all: “this dude looks extremely Jewish so he can’t be lying.” Greatest trump card.
Pro tip 16: Carry menstrual products on you to stun the enemy. A moment of confusion can make or break your style to the death.
Whenever you feel like it’s hard to reach societal standards, just remember that ambulances need gas too…
Paula Demarinis @paul_demari
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Paramount is making a live-action R-rated THE LAST RONIN film!!! via @THR
“Goodbye, Twitter world” - OJ Simpson
I love it when the connections writers have a sense of humor
ANNOUNCEMENT: I have been asked to serve as a contributor to TheDailyBeast.com, a national news and politics news site. I will be writing about Arizona and national politics. Arizona is one of a handful of swing states, which bestows enormous importance in what happens here…
I joined @KTAR923 to talk with one of my most outspoken critics, @BarryMarkson1. If we're going to save this country, we have to have the tough conversations and find common ground, even with the people who disagree with us the most. We may always have our differences, but I…
Brian Tyree Henry says ‘BEYOND THE SPIDER-VERSE’ is “even more epic than the last [film]” “Get your hankies ready…” (Source: Deadline)
BREAKING NEWS: First Trump criminal trial to begin on April 15th. Trump loses his request for a longer delay and judge finds Trump did not prove his allegations that NYC DA Bragg withheld evidence. Hush money trial to start in 3 weeks.
This is real. Trump’s narcissism is so immense that he believes he, at 78, actually won the senior AND regular club golf championships at one of his golf clubs rather than everyone knows he’s a nutjob and let him win so he doesn’t throw a tantrum. Trump is an immature narcissist.…