RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

My bio Amorphous Joined September 2015

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

7 years ago

Everything is elastic when you concentrate hard enough on it. Everything bends to your will, whether it’s a plate of spaghetti or the mailman who keeps calling you Ronnie when only your childhood cat could call you that. I must bend that man.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

@StephenAtHome The joy you fill me with is unmatchable as soon as I see your mile-wide smile and euphoric suit that crimples in happiness with every step you take. Your existence reminds me that the happy man I see on TV is equivalent to the sun on the perfect mix of steroids.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

I only saw the first Pixels, but I will try my best to find the 2nd before I see Pixels 3. Odd that Pixels 2 doesn't seem to exist, but perhaps it has simply retreated into nonexistence because it's too brilliant a film for all of us hopeless plebs to handle. #pixel3

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

@McDonalds Hi, McDonald's. I visited your location in Des Moines, Iowa, and the cashier there was quite possibly the kindest wheel of cheese I've ever met. I don't know when you started hiring wheels of cheese, but they seem much nicer than any of your ferris wheel cashiers.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

Sorry, today we honor the GIRLS who are far better than the BOYS who sip on the disgusting soup of depravity as their eyes roll into their skulls and attempt to see a brain that will also become depravity soup after years of soup sips, as GIRLS celebrate liberation.#DayOfTheGirl

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

Woke up this morning and flowers were growing from every orifice in my body. Needless to say, I woke up unable to breathe. I am now a garden man. In addition to shaving, I'll need to trim my own hedges, so to speak. Unless my body flowers naturally wilt and die off.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

Spent most of this morning climbing the walls of my home with pegs that I nailed all throughout the house. Keeps me energized and I can pretend I'm one of the thieving wall lizards that scale those walls every day. #MondayMotivation

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

8 years ago

My proposed candidates for the next presidential election in the US are the thieving lizards that crawl in my walls and the mailman who always forgets that I still live here. At least I can count on them doing what they always do. #politics

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@BlancaMoor Sweat is the universal bonding that keeps us all glued to the edges of existence. For without sweat, are we not just dry sticks of flesh and bone marrow loosely strung together like puppets for our sad brains?

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@StephenAtHome Hell, Stephen. I just wanted to say that I hope your life is filled with seashells of pure bliss that shield you from the torment of nature's agonies that plague us all, keeping us contained as one solitary force that can do anything we dream of doing. Beautiful.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@BlancaMoor "What is time, but a window that we use to climb out into eternity, forever looking back at our shadows and saying, 'What?'" — My Toaster

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@ScribeHard Disastrously ungifted at gifting are the hands that I possess as well.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@lcctones To live home alone is to die hard, much like the figs that fall off the trees of yorn.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

My neighbor Todd Phillips won't need to worry about being alone for Christmas Eve now that I have sent 5,000 bats to be his friend this evening. The bats each have a tiny Christmas hat and Christmas cheer to bring via an echolocation format. "Screech, screech." #ChristmasEve

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

That time of year when I put all my furniture on the rooftop and make a tree out of all of the roof's shingles. I plan on sitting up there with my hot glass of margarine and a nice big pot of roasted plums while cooking raw nutmeg rodents over an open fire. #ChristmasEve

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@OneIMS @TonyRobbins "If time permits, you'll be able to zoom across the universe and see what sits on the other side of the existential wall, feeling loneliness no more, feeling timelessness forever." - My Table Lamp

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@OneIMS The beast that manages my heart is the one that comes to lead it into the pits of delicious grief. I stare in wonderment at the lava that seeps throughout the world beyond. It strains my brain like pasta that has reached its al dente peak.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@ScribeHard @CinemaWidow What is perogi, if not living meat flaps that spew forth their delicious bile?

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@Dvoleich For when all is troubling, I see the faces along the walls and scowl in terror, pondering their existence and why they continue to live in my dreams, turning them into waking nightmares of unrepentant malice.

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RonRonRuby @RonRonRuby

9 years ago

@AndrewCrow But I am always alone until I remember that my house is an organism capable of digesting my thoughts. I have managed to keep the knives away from my neck knowing this.