Director of S.A.N.T.O.S 🍩 @RobDon81
Maryland-Pennsylvania native with a passion for music—jam bands like Phish, Goose, Grateful Dead, Spafford, Umphrey's McGee, are my groove. Sports enthusiast! Puyallup, WA Joined December 2023-
Tweets402
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I would like some honest feedback. If your wife or husband told you after 15 years of being married that your music sucks and it is either your music or me? That means fewer or no shows, no wearing merch around, no listening at home. What would your honest reaction be like?
Happy birthday to a real legendary human being!
Happy birthday to a real legendary human being!
Yes indeed! And GRATEFUL I AM!
Have a GRATEFUL day⚡️💀🌹
I can't stop laughing at this.
This was so sick!
Would like to start listening to vinyl and have a place to chill. Do you mind if I check out your music setup or your favorite listening spot in your house?
Does anyone think @phish will drop any fall tour dates soon? I'm hoping for a PNW run.
I fuck with this. @GratefulDead @jerrygarcia @vampireweekend
Good stuff!
Wow!
Visuals delivered again. 💯 4/21/24, LV/NV #phish
Hell yeah!!
Unbelievable! Wish I could see this in person.
Unbelievable! Wish I could see this in person.
Amazing!
And we're only halfway #PhishAtSphere @phish
Now, I am sure a lot of heads are comfortable and used to the Spheres effects. How hard are they gonna go tonight and tomorrow? Would love to hear about it, serious FOMO for me right now.
Dope ass visual!
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@RobDon81 I’d have a serious talk about the importance of it to you. I assume she already knows. But maybe the balance got lost along the way. Talk it out but if she’s giving you an ultimatum that’s tough to begin with and even move past
@im7below @RobDon81 @hellionraiser Don’t know you, and we’re all somewhat obsessed to a certain degree, but I think you’ve been more than reasonable I’m constantly playing music around the house, it irritates my wife sometimes, but I suspect she’d agree that it crosses a line to prohibit live shows or band shirts
@Cptn_Incredible @RobDon81 Bingo. Like I said, this goes deeper than just music. It sounds like they are just in very different places. It doesn’t mean it’s not salvageable, but it’s gonna take a lot of work on both parts.
@RobDon81 Edit: I just saw that you haven’t been to a show in 2 years and you only wear merch to work and that’s still not working for her. IMO, this is completely unreasonable. If I were you, I’d propose marriage counseling bc this goes way beyond music. Hugs. Sorry dude.
@RobDon81 Extremely controlling behavior. Asking not to play it around her is one thing (not very considerate - many reasonable compromises) but fine - headphones and plenty of time to listen and not listen. But controlling your activities and clothing? They don’t want you to be happy.
@RobDon81 I’m sorry you’re being asked this. There are some good suggestions already so I wanted to send you positive vibes. Hope you’re able to find some peace.☮️
@RobDon81 That sounds more like Federal Way or Auburn type talk. Sorry, kidding aside, ultimatums are not good. If expressed as “you’re spending too much time away from family” (or money) maybe worth engaging, but I hope the ultimatum was not the first time this was brought up.
@RobDon81 That seems like too much. Sure, it would be ok if she asked you to not play it around her, but it seems like you’ve already sacrificed by not going to shows and that wasn’t enough? Life without music is just surviving, not living man
@RobDon81 Earbuds with no clothes sounds like a good compromise in this situation. SO cannot hear the music and no band shirts. Probably will not be asked to go to the grocery either.
@RobDon81 Why on earth would you want to stay with someone who would want take away something you love and makes you happy when it doesn’t hurt anyone??
@RobDon81 Wow that’s serious. I can’t imagine life without my music.
@RobDon81 My wife has never been enthusiastic about the music since JG passed, but we do not tell each other what to listen to....that's insane
@RobDon81 Not seeing a show in 2 years is far from obsessed. I would hope that a compromise could be made, but right now that doesn’t seem Iike that’s the case. I’ve been to enough counseling to know her issues with you are likely something with her past/trauma and she’s taking out on you.
@hellionraiser @RobDon81 Yeah sounds like a power issue and not a music issue
@RobDon81 15yrs is a long time... If there are kids involved it changes the calculation on next steps. But if you love the person then you can figure out a compromise to make it work. Some good suggestions in the replies like Bluetooth headphones and going to shows with other friends.. GL!
@RobDon81 I’d say those are unacceptable conditions, because nobody’s telling me what I can and can’t wear or listen to in my own house. However, compromise is key is a relationship, so perhaps a mutually agreeable deal can be worked out? 1/
@RobDon81 I think my brain would explode
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