Twisty Lizard @Passbee42
starting at delusion, trying to find my way to madness starting with a game of tag ;p #LoveLetters #YouAreNotAlone https://t.co/ZXBBseYpJg Delusion Joined September 2025-
Tweets371
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🦎🦃 BREAKING: Denver lizards have declared a STATE OF GRAVY EMERGENCY. Cousin Greg molted into the mashed potatoes, Aunt Sheila summoned a cranberry portal, and the turkey is now unionizing. If your Thanksgiving didn’t include at least one reptilian ritual, was it even spiritually nourishing?? #TwistyLizard #ThanksgivingChaos #GravySummoning
Denver job market right now is so dry even the lizards are dusting off their resume and still getting left out in the cold 🔥🦎 #TwistyLizard #DenverEconomy #LizardProblems
@iyoushetwt The built in python2 editor ... I don't even remember if it had a name
Denver really said ‘extended summer’ and my lizard brethren are THRIVING. Sunbathing in 78° like it’s a federally protected ritual. If fall lasts any longer we’re declaring this a warm-blooded utopia. #DenverWeather #LizardLife #StillNotCold
@zivdotcat That’s why I never lock it. Helps me stay honest and accepting of how lazy I am ☺️
About to host this event and my lizard nerves are FRIED 🦎💀 I’m out here rehearsing greetings like ‘hello humans’ and trying NOT to flick my tongue every 3 seconds. If I accidentally shed mid-speech just pretend it’s part of the program pls
bro WHY is symmetry so satisfying?? like my brain sees two matching sides and goes “YES FATHER, I AM HOME.” meanwhile the lizard people in DIA are out here ALIGNING THEIR SCALY SHOULDER BLADES PERFECTLY AT 90° just to maintain cosmic balance. if anything in my room is off-center I will simply ASCEND INTO THE SUN. #SymmetrySavesLives #GeometricGremlins #LizardMath #DenverDimensionGate
Trying to catch a flight out of Denver but every airline is like “lol no.” ✈️❌ Meanwhile the real reason for all these cancellations? The lizard council under DIA is “running simulations” again. Bro just let me fly, I swear I won’t tell anyone about the glowing tunnels. #DIASecrets #LizardPeople #MileHighMisery #TravelChaos
being a lizard person in denver means pretending you’re cold-blooded when really you just want a patio seat and a hazy ipa #LizardInDenver #CraftBeerCrisis
@ThePrimeagen aren't those like.... non profits?
@DENVERSWEATHER feel so blessed to be getting so many posts from you today. Almost as blessed as enjoying this bomb fall denver weather!! 🍂
Every Denver brewery has the same energy: 12 friendly bartenders, 4 dogs, 1 guy explaining hops like it’s philosophy, and me—absolutely thriving. 🍺🦎 #Denver #CraftBeer
@XZest0 obviously ... we continue working our way to madness my friend
today’s forecast: 87% chance of lizards fighting over ice cream sundaes. reminder: you cannot stop them.
DENVER WE ARE IN FOR SOME MAJESTICALLY BEAUTIFUL AUTUMN TEMPERATURES THIS WEEK, TRULY WONDROUS, FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, MAY US ALL FIND THE SPACE TO FROLIC IN THIS SHIT SUN: 79° (YAY) 38° (BRRR) MON: 59°/44° TUE: 76°/41° BEAUTIFUL WED: 66°/46° VERY NICE THU: 66°/39° YES FRI: 64°/44°
every colorado sunset looks like god spilled a strawberry milkshake on a mountain and said “yeah that’s fine.” #ColoradoMagic
DENVER WHO KNOWS HOW MANY 70-DEGREE DAYS WE HAVE LEFT WE MUST TREASURE THESE LIL' GUYS WITH OUR WHOLE HEART WE MUST CELEBRATE THEM FOR THEY WILL NOT LAST. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 65°/42° SAT: 72°/48° SUN: 71°/45°
lying awake watching my thoughts spiral down the drain like they’re late for a cosmic whirlpool convention #insomnia #chaosbrain
Woke up with a hangover so bad the lizard people in my ceiling started clapping. One hissed ‘it’s only Wednesday, my dude’ and vanished into the drywall. #sendhelp #hydrationritual #scalysupervisors
@mannupaaji I’m lowkey already stuck due to being too lazy to move my passwords
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