Painful Puns. Funny Jokes, Silly Riddles, Punny Word Play, Groaner Puns, Cheesy Humor, Ouch! Plus RTs that hurt even worse.painfulpuns.com Colorado, USAJoined December 2011
Q. Why is Janeway the most effective Star Trek captain?
A. She mutes the ship's doctor when he gets out of line.
Q. Why is Janeway the most effective Star Trek captain?
A. Because she's a Vice Admiral!
#StarTrk#Voyager#humor
Q. How is a beer better than a woman?
A. Beer won't get mad if you come home with beer on your breath!
Sick of beer? That's like being sick of breathing!
Q. Why did the new craft beer bar sponsor a ladies fast-pitch team?
A. Just for the PUBlicity.
#beer#humor
Q. What do you say after a Painful eye Pun?
A. Corny, uh?
Q. Is it true that eyeballs can hear?
A. Yes, but only at extremely eye frequencies.
Q. What happened to a patient whose eye surgery was botched?
A. He can't stop making eye puns, and the jokes are cornea than ever.
Q. What do story tellers and dogs have in common?
A. Both like to wag their tales.
Q. What is an author's choice alcoholic beverage when writing the first version of a new piece?
A. Draft beer!
Q. Which writing genre pays the most?
A. Ransom notes!
#books#author#humor
Q. What do you call a Gallifrey competent in the culinary arts?
A. A Thyme Lord!
Q. What is the recipe for Skaro breakfast
A. Eggs, Stir, Min Eight.
Q. What does a Time Lord use to smoke weed?
A. A W-hookah.
#DoctorWho#humor
Q. Why should you never mess with a paleontologist?
A. 'Cause you'll get Jurass kicked.
Q. When did dinosaur chefs prosper in France?
A. During the late Jour Aspic Era.
Q. What would you get if you crossed a triceratops with a pig?
A. A dino-boar.
#dinosaur#humor
Q. What do short aliens say UFO stands for?
A. United Federation Of.
Q. Why didn't Ancient Aliens need UFOs?
A. Because they had flying snakes, winged dragons, and vimanas!
Did you hear the latest UFO joke? Nevermind, it's over your head.
#UFOs#aliens#humor
Old assets never die. They just depreciate.
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Q. How did the old accountant die?
A. He closed the books.
Old bookkeepers never die. They just lose their figures.
#OldNeverDie#humor
18K Followers 16K FollowingJust a Grumpy Old Man tired of the Demoncrap! Trump is my President MAGA 🇺🇸 Picture is of the best friend I ever had! (Sophie RIP) NO DM's 🇺🇸🇺🇸 Semper Fi
19K Followers 17K FollowingShit-poster extraordinaire 🐸
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-Orwell.
retweet≠endorsement/agreement
18K Followers 18K Following40+ year smoker. Cigarette free for 10 years thanks to vaping. Constutional Conservative, Patriot #MAGA Not looking for a date or hookup. I ignore DMs. IFBAP
30K Followers 31K Following🇺🇸TRUMP MAGA 🇺🇸 💪🏼💙DAN BONGINO💙💪🏼🇺🇸1A/2A🇺🇸💙👮🏻♂️RETIRED LEO/BACK THE BLUE👮🏻♂️💙🇺🇸BUILD THE WALL 🇺🇸LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL ILNESS🇺🇸
3K Followers 5K FollowingChristian Conservative. 1st acct. @jasonstonenola reinstated. Trump was right about everything. pro: life, Constitution, MAGA, traditional American values.
18K Followers 18K Following#2A, #CivilRights, USAF vet. Science means have a theory and try to disprove it. No settled Science, two sexes, evolution is bs, God is real.
3K Followers 3K FollowingUS Army Vet 91-96
Honorable Discharge
Disability with PTSD
2nd ID Second To None .....
Time of my life ..
Source of my Nightmares
#2A #1A #MAGA IFBAP
6K Followers 6K FollowingProbably, the only MAGA Conservative left in Minnesota. Trump isn’t my BF, He’s the Greatest POTUS. Elon isn’t God, he’s a Great Man. Tim Walz lies. FJB.
16K Followers 12K FollowingAny nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.
#VLM 🇺🇲 Back The Blue 💙
Conservative Woman. No DM'S 🚫 in a relationship @VVkg01
838 Followers 836 Followingsupporting Ukraine online with the Fellas, making trench candles, organizing 3D printed drone parts for UA, getting 4x4WD cars for UA +much more 🇩🇰🇺🇦
1K Followers 2K FollowingNerd, Cosplayer, Gamer…and Blabs Simp. 😅 OG member of the @LegionofMemers #LegionofMemers #IStandWithVic #IStandWithGinaCarano
581 Followers 707 FollowingThrow the rules out the window, odds are you'll go that way too.
If I see a fella, I follow a fella
Supporting 🇺🇦🇹🇼🇮🇱
#NAFO #WeAreNAFO
5K Followers 6K FollowingProud 🇪🇺 Stand with 🇺🇦 Braindamaged dog. Living in Moms basement. Meme stealer and dealer. Sex tunnel photographer.
Make ruZZia muscovy again!
1K Followers 2K FollowingLithuanian living in the UK🇱🇹🤝🇺🇦🤝🇬🇧On the spectrum(amongst over disabilities) Have a friend thats a fella. Happy to be part of NAFO. Ukraine will win!!!
385 Followers 377 FollowingEx Royal Engineer, gamer and 2ed generation British/Ukrainian. served 7 years in the British army as a royal engineer. instagram is Kissmeim_outdoors
4K Followers 4K FollowingFighting disinformation, again!
For every flower cut down, a hundred more will rise.
Home of NAFOworks, archive at @SaintSnowdrift
@ CitizenRocket, Bluesky.
967 Followers 3K FollowingShinonsya presents Ambient Music for deep sleep, relaxation, mindfulness, Zen, meditation, and mental health. Healing insomnia, depression, HSP, and baby crying
2K Followers 4K FollowingReader, writer, daughter, sister & friend. I do not share the views and attitudes of my #grabberment. Into #Permaculture and #Sustainability. Slava Ukraina!
170 Followers 1K FollowingGeek and proud of it. Games/Sci-fi/comics/etc. Hater of woke trash like nutrek and the DT. The EU IS canon. Stop ruining comics/franchises! Wokeness is evil. 🖖
1K Followers 2K FollowingYellow sniffing bird-drone escaped from the REDACTED biolab.
My special radar find things & connections.
My sharp unlubed baguette will cut the Crimea bridge!
3K Followers 5K FollowingWhen a flower doesn't bloom naturly, you fix the enviroment in wich it grows, not the flower 🥀🌹
CEO/Chairman of the board at Dyrebeskyttelsen Sør-Rogaland 😻
2K Followers 2K FollowingComic Books, Comedy & Conservatism
Typos Served Up Fresh
Open 24/7 - Free Pool & HBO in every Room !
Empty insults = instant block
I Follow Back...Do You ?
100 Followers 329 FollowingGamer, epic level, S-class, EX tier nerd. Star Wars apostate. Friend to all animals. Aficionado of lots of nerdy stuffs. Purveyor of injurious sarcasm.
23 Followers 191 FollowingStep into the vibrant world of Internet Zoo! 🌈🌐 Explore digital wilderness with me! 🦁🌿 Follow for wild online adventures! 🐾🔍 #InternetZoo
2K Followers 3K FollowingSavvy traveler, student of history, supporting 🇺🇦
#WhateverItTakes #SlavaUkraini
History repeating itself. FAFO
To be on the right side of history matters.
♀️
5K Followers 6K FollowingCosmpolitan Globalist. neocentrist. Pro NATO. Free market capitalism Promoting freedom and democracy around the globe.🇺🇲🇬🇧🇫🇷🇨🇿🇩🇪🇮🇱🇪🇺🇺🇦
1K Followers 2K FollowingGood beers, good pubs & great friends to mardle with. Own Boudicca Brewing, fan of rugby, cricket & proud European. Also @EmmaQueenBoudicca
152 Followers 274 FollowingDrove 4651km to Ottawa & stood up against the communist takeover| 🇨🇦 Patriot| Dad of 3 awesome teens - I fight for their freedom| ❤️ my lady friend.
18K Followers 16K FollowingJust a Grumpy Old Man tired of the Demoncrap! Trump is my President MAGA 🇺🇸 Picture is of the best friend I ever had! (Sophie RIP) NO DM's 🇺🇸🇺🇸 Semper Fi
19K Followers 17K FollowingShit-poster extraordinaire 🐸
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-Orwell.
retweet≠endorsement/agreement
18K Followers 18K Following40+ year smoker. Cigarette free for 10 years thanks to vaping. Constutional Conservative, Patriot #MAGA Not looking for a date or hookup. I ignore DMs. IFBAP
30K Followers 31K Following🇺🇸TRUMP MAGA 🇺🇸 💪🏼💙DAN BONGINO💙💪🏼🇺🇸1A/2A🇺🇸💙👮🏻♂️RETIRED LEO/BACK THE BLUE👮🏻♂️💙🇺🇸BUILD THE WALL 🇺🇸LIBERALISM IS A MENTAL ILNESS🇺🇸
3K Followers 5K FollowingChristian Conservative. 1st acct. @jasonstonenola reinstated. Trump was right about everything. pro: life, Constitution, MAGA, traditional American values.
18K Followers 18K Following#2A, #CivilRights, USAF vet. Science means have a theory and try to disprove it. No settled Science, two sexes, evolution is bs, God is real.
3K Followers 3K FollowingUS Army Vet 91-96
Honorable Discharge
Disability with PTSD
2nd ID Second To None .....
Time of my life ..
Source of my Nightmares
#2A #1A #MAGA IFBAP
6K Followers 6K FollowingProbably, the only MAGA Conservative left in Minnesota. Trump isn’t my BF, He’s the Greatest POTUS. Elon isn’t God, he’s a Great Man. Tim Walz lies. FJB.
16K Followers 12K FollowingAny nation that does not honor its heroes will not long endure.
#VLM 🇺🇲 Back The Blue 💙
Conservative Woman. No DM'S 🚫 in a relationship @VVkg01
487 Followers 722 FollowingI am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers. I knew it was 1216. One after Magna Carta! As if I could ever make such a mistake.
fella
1K Followers 1K FollowingArashidoggie Ninja Clan. Digital Assassin. Bow Wows to no God. Slava Ukraini! #Nafo #russiaisaterroriststate #russianwarshipgofuckyourself #standwithukraine
4K Followers 4K FollowingArchaeologist, p*ssed off about deteriorating democratic values and the rise of st*pidity as the new normal. Conservative heart, leftie mind.
11K Followers 8K FollowingJust a NAFO Fella. I'm here to support Ukraine and watch ruZZia 🔥
tabletop nerd / former RPG nerd / nerd stuff nerd
morale department since January 2024
708 Followers 2K FollowingArmy OR-5 veteran. #NAFO supporter. Si vis pacem para bellum. anti far-left, anti far-right. I have been studying wars and history for 30 years.
5K Followers 6K FollowingProud 🇪🇺 Stand with 🇺🇦 Braindamaged dog. Living in Moms basement. Meme stealer and dealer. Sex tunnel photographer.
Make ruZZia muscovy again!
838 Followers 836 Followingsupporting Ukraine online with the Fellas, making trench candles, organizing 3D printed drone parts for UA, getting 4x4WD cars for UA +much more 🇩🇰🇺🇦
3K Followers 5K FollowingNothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.
Jane Addams.
4K Followers 4K FollowingSciFi Fella for renewable energies and against warmongers. I speak 🇩🇪🇬🇧 and a little bit of 🇫🇷. Support 🇺🇦 https://t.co/g58Zdd1VZh
504 Followers 949 Following||God First||CEO||Agricultural Engineering President KNUST @gaesaknust|Deputy Speaker for College of Engineering Senate @GESAKNUSTSenate||A Political Figure💚||
331 Followers 1K FollowingRepublic of California
RT ≠ Agreement
Justice for little people fighting with politicos & billionaires for parity of political power over one's life.
1K Followers 3K FollowingNormal people are only people you don’t know very well. - The only things I judge people on are how they treat people/animals and their love of music. #NAFO
1K Followers 2K FollowingLithuanian living in the UK🇱🇹🤝🇺🇦🤝🇬🇧On the spectrum(amongst over disabilities) Have a friend thats a fella. Happy to be part of NAFO. Ukraine will win!!!
2K Followers 4K FollowingBanned twice for hurting Elon's feelings!
Former Medic and Healthcare worker. A Bull Moose that's sick of the little #MAGA bootlickers and their ilk.🇺🇸🇺🇦
4K Followers 5K FollowingNAFO fella/fellina Wrinkly, chain smoking, sweary old babushya. Fan of Kyrylo Budanov 🐸. Grumpy old bat. Shitposting/bonking. Sex tunnel cleaner.
591 Followers 1K FollowingPark Ranger, Space Nerd, and More 🇺🇸🇺🇦 Gave my heart to NAFO, the only sentimental thing I could think of. I definitely do not represent any organization.
2K Followers 3K FollowingArchitect. Old codger. Russophobe. MAGAphobe. Support Ukraine. NAFO expansion is non-negotiable. Any memes I post were stolen fair and square.
415 Followers 393 FollowingFirm believer in scrutiny of speech, and freedom of truth.
NAFO contractor (Hiding my inu shiba muzzle behind this human face mask).
5K Followers 6K Following❤️#NAFO #Fellas
❤Night sky and the universe
❤Mother Nature
💔when I see what happens in 💙💛
• I am myself on Mastodon
• I am here on Bluesky https://bsky.ap