Sarcastic Office @OfficeProblems1

Oh you want to tell me how to do the job I've had for years because you all of a sudden know how? Please enlighten me. #officeproblems

Oh your eyes are glassed over and you showed up 2hrs late bc there was a "family emergency"? We all know the truth #alcoholic #drunkatwork

I really love that first and last hour at work... you know the ones where you do absolutely nothing.

If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation. #officeproblems

Boss -"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we'll encounter." Sure- let me get right on that list of UNKNOWNS. #officeproblems

How nice, I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in the workplace with your keen fashion sense. #officeproblems

I'm so glad you stopped by my office to complain about your day, I'd love to stop what I'm doing to hear you whine. #officeproblems

Wait until my review -THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre rating without raise, I don't mind. #officeproblems

Tell me all your problems. No one else has any. I like the one about paying high taxes on the bonus check only you received. #officeproblems

Have special instructions for a job? Save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information. #officeproblems

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion. #officeproblems

If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic. #officeproblems

For a rush job, interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going OR hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke. #officeproblems

Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. #officeproblems

Dear annoying co-worker that I pretend to tolerate: Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. #officeproblems

Oh you screwed up yet again on one of your meaningless tasks- no big deal, just blame someone else like you always do. #officeproblems

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. #officeproblems

Oh, you like to dress like that because it's part of your culture. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. #officeproblems

No worries, I shut my office door because I enjoy hearing your annoying voice, please continue to scream on all your calls. #officeproblems