ministry of facts @Minifact
Curators of facts beyond reality. Champions of the misinformed, archiving slurry from the fact pool. Joined February 2013-
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Mini #Fact: The New Testament mis-spelling of Christ's first 3 gifts is being debated by scholars in Israel #Gold #Frankenscense #Nurr
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Mini #Fact: Theatrical re-imagining of a Greek votive offering, the 'Rubber Horse of Troy' is to be staged at London's Lycra Theatre in May.
Mini #fact: Cheaper energy option: 100% pork HAM CANDLES. Upside: They burn 67% longer than wax. Downside: They make your room smell of pigs
Mini #Fact: Last night, UK's oldest chimp Care-Home Stanley received his last ever visit from the Tooth Fairy.
Mini #fact Today, our three new office armadillos were delivered, fittingly, in an armoured truck by Tusps & Sons. Please send photos of your office creatures together with their delivery specialists.
Mini #fact: Despite the MonkeyPox virus, at the last count there are still 100% monkeys in Africa. That's 100 in every 100.
Finger-written on the back of a dirty van: "I wish I was Welsh and had guns like my mate Dave".
Mini #fact: Slaptarrows and Lunar Corn Chariots are the only edible British butterflies. However, eaten together causes colourblindness.
Mini #fact: The fabled Hogs-Bison or 'Dog Particle' was discovered when two Sand Terriers collided in Switzerland. #nobel prize #Switzerland
Mini #Fact: Mice in Hull have been drinking water from radiators and causing boilers to explode.
Mini Fact: Peruvian horses produce tears with a high alcohol content. Flies are becoming alcoholics and drink the eyes until passing out.
Check out the new Dan Rhodes book "When The Professor Got Stuck In The Snow" - another massively enjoyable gem! #@MiyukiBooks
@HugoAndCat Light a ham candle (better than wax) and the idea will come in the half-light. Downside: your production will smell of pigs.
Mini #fact: "Tissers" (people born without noses) can still smell salt.
Mini #fact: Distance yourself from all the shit with Mr Switchoff's new range of TV Talent Show Repellent Sprays. Works on all channels.
Mini #fact: Uk's oldest chimp Care-Home Stanley is celebrating his fish-infected stomach scan results. It seems the tuna hasn't spread.
Mini #Fact: Beekeepers in Rye have issued a warning not to approach their increasingly transparent honeybees. Their bees are fading fast.
MiniFact: On the Burlock estate in Newport, crows are building rubber nests from windscreen wiper blades that they have stripped off Nissans
Mini Fact: Tension mounts in Parliament as opposition grows towards proposed ban on tinnitus. Yesterday's hearing was badly affected.
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