Marlaina Horewitz @MHorewitz
Just me as always. Virginia, USA Joined September 2017-
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Hello @Nick_Offerman. This is a difficult time. Could you help me out by making a PSA where Ron Swanson yells at people to go home from his car. Thanks, a sad, stressed college student :)
I should be getting kissed right now this is a crime
Me: “well look at the turn tables” Jina: “well look at how the tables have tables” Me:*thinks for a sec* Me: “well look how the turns have turned” 😏
The simple son on Passover be like:
daedalus: you okay? icarus: yeah i'm fine icarus's headphones: Here Comes the Sun — The Beatles 1:02 ───❍────── 3:06 ↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺ volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%
nothing says college like getting up on a saturday morning to shower only to encounter a girl from your hall and the guy she hooked up with the night before hungover and blasting mama mia in the next shower over
if we really leave on october 31st will it be a pumpkin spice brexit
Vaccinate your kids i’m not running a fucking day care centre down here
I didn’t pay all this tuition to have .25 ply toilet paper! #MyButtDeservesMore #IKnowMyRights
High school AP Bio teacher: “If you call the mitochondria the powerhouse of the cell I’m going to deduct ten points.” College Biology professor: “WHAT DO WE CALL THE MITOCHONDRIA?!?” Students: “THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL” Professor: “HELL YEAH”
Me when I’m really tipsy to my mom: “you know the smooth endoplasmic reticulum is responsible for detoxification, so the more alcohol you drink the more smooth ER your liver cells build up and that leads to tolerance.” Mother: 😑
It is Cappies night! Fingers crossed for WTW! @WTWCavalry
ive been eating so many noodles and my mental health still isn’t fixed
Why does US border security make me nervous?! I was so flustered I almost said my name was passport
The college that rejected you is like the crush who turned you down. One day you’ll realize life turned out just fine—if not better—without them. Your destiny is not determined by those who reject you; it’s shaped by your ability to persevere, love others and accept yourself.
Hygienist: “Do you drink a lot of tea?” Me: “Oh yeah” Hygienist: “Well maybe you should cut back because your teeth are a little yellow.” Me *in my head*: Well first of all, how dare you
Y’all, socializing is so hard
[stage left] Actor: where the fuck did the stage go
Did you hear the news? Today, the Event Horizon Telescope team revealed the first ever picture of a black hole. Congratulations to our friends at @saoastro and the rest of the team on this historic achievement. #EHTBlackHole
Wendi @Ignition42
84 Followers 466 Following Former U.S. European Command C4/Cyberspace Future Operations Joint Planner. Now Strategic Logistics Planner-ensure Army readiness throughout Europe and Africa.
Emily Lutzker @lutzker
504 Followers 648 Following Can-do gal. Getting my kicks by making interesting projects happen like https://t.co/FbDwWobinP arts+culture+brands+experiences
Hannah Suppes @Hannah_suppes
40 Followers 31 Following
Regan Southerland @ReganSoutherla2
5 Followers 14 Following
Woodson GSA @GsaWoodson
40 Followers 259 Following Meeting every Wednesday right after school starting September 26! a safe space for all lgbt+ members and our allies!🏳️🌈
WTW Badminton Team @WTWBadminton
35 Followers 179 Following
nelly🤬 @PBandN3lly
609 Followers 437 Following “why am i soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?” • she/her
duckyPorky @duckyPorky
88 Followers 256 Following Though their eyes speak of deaths filled with sorrow and strife, Their smiles below say I don't owe them my life. Trainsfem System Xe/They/She
Caitlin Carrington @caitlincf1999
31 Followers 1K Following
Ellen Davis @LifeHealthHome
80 Followers 336 Following Life Happens and we’re here to help you prepare for it ©
Cappies NCA @CappiesNCA
181 Followers 131 Following Official Account for @CappiesInc of the National Capital Area (DC/MD/VA) | Contact: [email protected]
sara! @saracshort
24 Followers 151 Following umich '24 If I’m tweeting it’s probably hockey or jeopardy
WTW Cheer @WTWCheerleading
118 Followers 47 Following Official account for the W T Woodson Cheer program 🎀
Hannah Suppes @Hannah_suppes
40 Followers 31 Following
Brian Ward @ward_brianm
148 Followers 141 Following Of all the error codes on all the devices in the world, I had to walk in to a printer failure | Views are my own | (he/him)
Woodson Drama @wtwdrama
106 Followers 53 Following ★ Come see Letters to Sala, Nov 1-9 ★ Follow us on Instagram: @wtwdrama
nelly🤬 @PBandN3lly
609 Followers 437 Following “why am i soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?” • she/her
duckyPorky @duckyPorky
88 Followers 256 Following Though their eyes speak of deaths filled with sorrow and strife, Their smiles below say I don't owe them my life. Trainsfem System Xe/They/She
sean coady @s_coadyy
121 Followers 60 Following umw alum // theatre and linguistic anthropology // she her
Caitlin Carrington @caitlincf1999
31 Followers 1K Following
Woodson Drama @woodsondrama
25 Followers 32 Following Official twitter account for W.T. Woodson Drama
Woodson HS @WTWoodsonHS
3K Followers 292 Following Official twitter for Woodson HS! est. 1962 in Fairfax, VA #OneWoodson #cavstrong #itsagreatdaytobeacavalier
Ellen Davis @LifeHealthHome
80 Followers 336 Following Life Happens and we’re here to help you prepare for it ©
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