A thing I still struggle to navigate with autism is the meltdowns, it’s very easy to get swept away by emotions and nothing less than letting everything burn to the ground puts you in a state where you can think clearly again. It tends to lead to a lot of regret.
Considering that I did just burn everything to the ground, I am now no longer suicidal. Just exhausted, and full of regret.
It’s partially why autistic people that struggle like this, like me, tend to struggle making friends. It takes a lot of energy to make new friends and it just breaks you and haunts you forever when in the end your struggles makes it difficult to retain friends.
There’s not many people in this world equipped or willing to deal with this kind of crap, and it’s understandable. But all the friendships I’ve inadvertently ruined haunts me to this day.