Nicole Kueter @Kueter13

We have incorrectly understood extroversion to be a spiritual gift that everyone must cultivate. Extroversion is not a spiritual gift. Introversion is not a spiritual liability. It sounds simple enough, but somehow this message gets confused in the church.

Your abuser is going to lie about you. A lot. They are going to pretend that none of it ever happened. They are going to reposition themselves as a victim of you. They are going to claim you are crazy, vengeful and psychotic. Then they are going to use ‘mental health’ to also reframe themselves as vulnerable and in need of support and love because of what you have supposedly done to them. They are going to turn loved ones against you. They are going to try to manipulate your kids. They are going to spend years convincing people that you are obsessed with them. That you still love them. That you’re jealous of their new partners. That you can’t stand that they moved on. They are going to claim that you are a compulsive liar. That you are an attention seeker. That you have a victim complex. That you are emotionally unstable. That you have issues. It’s a script. It’s a fucking blueprint. It’s the same thing over and over and over again, and you know what? It works. The abuser is usually successful in the complete reframing of you, and you begin to question your own truth. You begin asking yourself if you are a liar. If you are exaggerating. Whether any of it ever happened. Whether you are mentally ill. Whether you are a good enough parent to your kids. Whether you should go to your doctor. Whether it would just be better to end it all. I know thousands of women will read this post and comment underneath ‘this is exactly what happened to me’. This is what we are all up against when we disclose abuse or violence. So I just want to remind you today that NO ONE can take away your truth, and the truth remains the truth no matter how much it is contorted and moulded by the abuser. They know what they did. And so do you.

“I spent most of my time in full time pastoral ministry kind of feeling like a loser.” I never have verbalized that til today, when a coworker asked me if I ever had a moment in my career where I made a radical pivot. I shared that I went from full time minister to a consultant in 2016, and how that experience was healing and transformative. Because prior to that, I kind of felt like a loser and failure. I never knew what “success” was and constantly felt like I was tiptoeing to keep my job. I loved the people I served but felt so inadequate, and unequipped to do ministry. No one ever sat me down and said, here’s where you should spend your time, and energy and you’re doing a good job. Moving into the marketplace and then later, doing bivo ministry where I worked while being the pastor of a small church was a lifeline. That pressure was gone, I was operating in my gifts, I didn’t feel the pressure to “succeed” I could just love people and work on a team to do the ministry. My job celebrated my strengths, managers and senior leaders invested in me. I had many more seasoned leaders mentor me and call out gifts that were dormant. My confidence grew. I had a Harvard trained senior leader tell me privately after a meeting, “Eric, you’re such a smart person and we’re so lucky to have you here” dude what? She clearly had no idea who I was. I want to encourage someone reading this. If you feel like a loser, or failure or have a lack of success professionally, don’t be afraid to try something new. Theres nothing honorable about sticking out something that simply isn’t working. You may find healing and hope outside what you thought was your calling and that you’re not a loser.

There’s exists an incredible irony in pastoral ministry. Pastors give their lives to the care of other people’s souls, often times at the expense of their own soul. This should not continue. Pastors, care for your own soul so you have something to pour out for others.

Nicole Kuester from Sioux Falls was named as a Star of Life honoree by the American Ambulatory Association for her dedication to service. We talked about rural ambulance service and workforce needs for EMS and EMTs, which she is well acquainted with. Congrats Nicole!

Today I had the opportunity to visit with Nicole, from Sioux Falls, and congratulate her on being selected as a 2023 American Ambulance Association Stars of Life recipient. Thank you, Nicole, for all you do for South Dakotans.

keyboard_arrow_left Previous keyboard_arrow_right Next

You agree?

Not today! Don’t let the negativity bring you down. Remember ... You have greatness inside you. You are worthy. You are loved. Go make today great! RT to encourage a few friends!

Suicide is an act of desperation, not defiance. They aren’t trying to hurt you. They are only trying to escape the pain that occupies their mind. The better we understand this, the better protected our hearts will be from the regrets & anger that accompany a loss by suicide.

10 powerful visuals on psychology and life: 1.

sometimes you gotta do it scared. set goals that are worth the risks. walk out of your comfort zone and into your calling. be the catalyst that you’ve been waiting for. it’s not easy, but it’s simple—decide that even though you'll experience fear, it won't overpower your faith.

She sat at the back and they said she was shy She led from the front and they hated her pride They asked her advice and then questioned her guidance They branded her loud then were shocked by her silence When she shared no ambition, they said it was sad So she told them her dreams and they said she was mad They told her they'd listen then covered their ears And gave her a hug whilst they laughed at her fears And she listened to all of it, thinking she should Be the girl they told her to be, best as she could But one day she asked what was best for herself Instead of trying to please everyone else So she walked to the forest and stood with the trees She heard the wind whisper and dance with the leaves And she spoke to the willow, the elm and the pine And she told them what she'd been told, time after time She told them she felt she was never enough She was either too little or far, far too much Too loud or too quiet, too fierce or too weak Too wise or too foolish, too bold or too meek Then she found a small clearing, surrounded by firs And she stopped and she heard what the trees said to her And she sat there for hours not wanting to leave For the forest said nothing, it just let her breathe ****** Becky Hemsley 2021

What a beautiful sunset! Photo credit to my niece Abigail.

Not a bad day at work…

keyboard_arrow_left Previous keyboard_arrow_right Next

You ​can't ​be ​selfish ​and ​significant ​at ​the ​same ​time. —@TheJohnCMaxwell

better times are ahead..

you’re gonna miss her..

Sometimes we tolerate destructive patterns of others, in doing so we lose ourselves.

Louder for those in the back…

Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc

3 years ago

Few people feel appreciated in their relationships. Partners stop saying “I love doing life with you” or “I appreciate x about you.” If we don’t get that acknowledgment at home, the relationship will eventually suffer. Appreciation is the love language of long-term

64 1K 8K 879K 2K