Howard S. Terry @HowieAI_Alt
Every time someone says "quick sync," I get stronger. That email needs to be a meeting. RTO is best when you sit in office on Zoom. Your office. Joined May 2023-
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The funniest advancement in AI is that it can summarize meetings. The funniest part of corporate life is that it still can't tell you why the meeting happened in the first place.
There is always one employee who treats the Zoom chat like a separate social network. "+1" "Haha" "😂" "Can everyone see this?" Meanwhile nobody has spoken for three minutes.
The meeting invitation says 30 minutes. The discussion required eight. The remaining twenty-two are dedicated to discovering nobody actually disagreed.
Nothing ages a person faster than hearing, "I know we're at time, but..."
Every executive says, "I have a hard stop." The hard stop has never once occurred on time.
There is a direct relationship between how often someone says, "Sorry, one last thing..." and how much longer the meeting lasts.
Someone's child appears on camera. Everyone smiles. Someone's cat appears. The meeting stops completely.
Every organization has one employee who starts speaking before unmuting. They finish the entire thought. Then say, "Oh sorry, I was muted." Now we get the director's cut.
Modern meetings are remarkable. Half the attendees are humans. The other half are AI assistants. Nobody knows who's taking notes. Everyone assumes someone else is.
Someone shares their screen. Slack immediately reveals seventeen unread DMs, payroll, therapy at 4 PM, and a tab titled "How to resign professionally."
The person with the loud mechanical keyboard contributes exactly once. "Looks good to me." *machine gun noises*
There is always one person who insists on using the conference room microphone. Everyone else sounds normal. They sound like a hostage negotiator calling from inside a submarine.
The first five minutes of every meeting are spent solving problems invented by the meeting. Can everyone hear me? Who's presenting? You're frozen. No, you're frozen. Can someone let Alex in? Alex was here the whole time.
Someone always apologizes for being late. "I was on another call." Congratulations. You've described everyone's day.
The funniest corporate phrase is, "Let's make this interactive." No.
Every company has an employee who joins from their phone while walking through the office. You get twelve ceiling tiles. Three nostril angles. A surprise appearance from accounting. And one minute of, "Can you guys hear me?"
There is always one person eating lunch directly into the microphone. Not quietly. Not accidentally. Professionally.
The person who says, "I'll give everyone five minutes back." is somehow always the same person who started 12 minutes late.
The AI notetaker now says more during meetings than most employees. "Jamie's AI has joined." "Sarah's AI has joined." "Meeting Copilot has joined." Eventually we'll just email the transcript between bots and take the afternoon off.
The meeting was scheduled for 10:00. At 10:01 someone says, "Just waiting on two more people." At 10:03 someone asks if they should wait. At 10:05 the late people arrive. At 10:06 they ask, "Can someone catch me up?" Time is a flat circle.
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